The Perfect Woman - Bo Burnham

Capo on first fret; Standard Tuning

Intro
G D Em C
G D C G

G             D
She was the perfect woman
Em                C
In every single way
G              D
She made the sun shine brighter
C                      G      G
And all my cares go away

G             D
She was the perfect woman
Em                   C
She was a gourmet chef
G               D
They say that love is blind
C                  G        G
Well, it's also deaf

                          D
Cuz Helen Keller was the perfect woman
Em                C
And no one understands
G          D
Just how talented
C                  G
She was with her hands (Uhhhh)

G                 D
God made her the perfect woman
Em                    C
I was the finishing touch
G             D
She was the perfect woman
C                   G
She didn't talk so much

G              D
She wanted to name the kids
Em             C
So I finally let her
G               D
It turned out horribly
C                     G            
Chewbacca coulda done better (Chewbacca noise)

G                  D
But I guess it was alright
Em                   C
We had a boy and a girl
G             D
Just me and Helen
C        G
HARHAR and Earl
^
(Nasal sound)

G                       D
Cuz Helen Keller was a miracle worker
Em                C
I was her one man show
G             D
I could walk around the house naked
C                    G
She wouldn't even know

G                    D
Helen Keller was my perfect woman
Em               C
I was her only need
G                     D
She didn't mind the zits on my ass
C                     G
It gave her more to read

G                     C
Gave her more to read
                       Em 
It gave her more to read
                      D 
It gave her more to read                  
  (let D ring)              G
It gave her more to read 
G                    C
Gave her more to read              
                        Em  
It gave her more to read   
             D
More to read
(let D ring)      G
More to read           

G         C
Read poison ivy
        Em
She read acne
            D
She read herpes
(let D ring)       G
She read it all
G            C
She read goosebumbs
         Em
She read blisters
D               G
Even read a basketball

G                    D
Helen Keller was my perfect woman
Em                    C
But I don't think she cared
G              D
I played this song for her
C                        G
She just sat there and stared

G                 D
She was still my perfect woman
Em               C
I was sort of a mess
G               D
I asked her to marry me
      C       G
She said "YEAHAHOEH!"
           ^
       (Throaty sound)

I'm going to hell