Look you tom-tom hittin', puck slappin' maple sucker, this tab is perfect and we sure need it here alot more that the intro for Come as you Are (we sure don't have enough of that). So I don't know if you have something against the greatest songwriter ever, but this tab is perfect so screw you.

This is the Version from All Hallow's Eve
Live 1964 (The Philharmonic Hall)
["This is called, 'Talkin' John Birch ... PARANOID ... Blues'
It's a fictitious story..."]
            G               C
Well, I was feelin' sad and kind of blue,
  D
I didn't know what I was gonna do,
     G               C
Them Communists were comin' around,
          D
They were in the air,

They were on the ground.
                       G C D   G
They were all over.

So I ran down most hurriedly
And joined the John Birch Society,
I got me a secret membership card
went back to my back yard,
Started lookin' 
on the sidewalk,
'neath the rose bush.

I wus lookin' everywhere for them gol-darned Reds,
I got up in the mornin' looked under my bed,
Looked behind the kitchen, behind the door,
even tore loose the kitchen floor,
Couldn't find any . . .

I looked beneath the sofa, beneath the chair
lookin' for them reds everywhere
I looked way up my chimney hole,
even deep down inside my toilet bowl,
They got away . . . 

I heard some foot-steps by the front porch door,
so I grabbed my shot-gun from the floor.
Snuck around the house with a huff and a hiss,
saying "Hands up, you communist!"
It was the mailman.
He punched me out.

Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,
got a magnifying glass like Sherlock Holmes.
Following some clues from my detective bag
I discovered there was red stripes on the American flag!
Did you know about Betsy Ross . . .?

Well, I was sittin' home alone an' I started to sweat,
I figured they wus in my television set.
I peeked behind the picture frame,
Got a shock from my feet that hit my brain.
Them Reds did it!
The ones on Hootenanny!

Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straight
When I run outa things to investigate.
I couldn't imagine doing anyhing else,
So now I'm home investigatin' myself!
Hope I don't find out too much . . . Good God!