Uneasy Rider, Charlie Daniels 
  

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       C 
 I was takin' a trip out to L.A. 
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 Toolin' along in my Chevrolet, 
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 Tokin' on a number and diggin' on the radio. 
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 Just as I crossed the Mississippi line, 
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 I heard that highway start to whine, 
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 And I knew that left rear tire was about to go.  
  
  
 Well, the spare was flat and I got uptight, 
 'Cause there wasn't a fillin' station in sight. 
 So I just limped on down the shoulder on the rim.  
 I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car 
 It was right in front of this little bar, 
 Kind of redneck lookin' joint, called the Dew Drop Inn.  
  
  
 Well, I stuffed my hair up under my hat 
 And told the bartender that I had a flat, 
 And would he be kind enough to give me change for a one. 
 There was one thing I was sure proud to see, 
 There wasn't a soul in the place, 'cept for him and me 
 And he just looked disgusted and pointed toward the telephone. 
  
  
 I called up the station down the road a ways, 
 And he said he wasn't very busy today, 
 And he could have somebody there in just 'bout ten minutes or so. 
 He said now you just stay right where you're at, 
 And I didn't bother tellin' the durn fool  
 I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go. 
  
  
 I just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar, 
 When some guy walked in and said; "Who owns this car? 
 With the peace sign, the mag wheels and four on the floor?" 
 Well, he looked at me and I damn near died, 
 And I decided that I'd just wait outside 
 So I layed a dollar on the bar and headed for the door. 
  
  
 Just when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin 
 These five big dudes come strollin' in, 
 With this one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth. 
 And I was almost to the door when the biggest one 
 Said "You tip your hat to this lady, son." 
 And when I did all that hair fell out from underneath. 
  
  
 Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight 
 In Jackson, Mississippi on a Saturday night, 
 'Specially when there was three of them and only one of me. 
 They all started laughin' and I felt kinda sick 
 And I knew I'd better think of somethin' pretty quick, 
 So I just reached out and kicked old green-teeth right in the knee. 
  
  
 He let out a yell that'd curl your hair, 
 But before he could move, I grabbed me a chair 
 And said "Watch him folks, 'cause he's a thouroughly dangerous man." 
 "Well, you may not know it, but this man's a spy, 
 He's an undercover agent for the FBI 
 And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan." 
  
  
 He was still bent over, holdin' on to his knee, 
 But everyone else was lookin' and listenin' to me, 
 And I layed it on thicker and heavier as I went. 
 I said "Would you believe this man has gone as far 
 As tearin' Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars, 
 And he voted for George McGovern for president." 
  
  
 "He's a friend of them long-haired, hippie type, pinko fags 
 I betcha he's even got a Commie flag 
 Tacked up on the wall, inside of his garage. 
 He's a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys 
 He may look dumb, but that's just a disguise, 
 He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage." 
  
  
 They all started lookin' real suspicious at him , 
 And he jumped up an' said "Now, just wait a minute, Jim 
 You know he's lyin' I've been livin' here all of my life." 
 "I'm a faithfull follower of Brother John Birch 
 And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church 
 And I ain't even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife." 
  
  
 Then he started sayin' somethin' 'bout the way I was dressed 
 But I didn't wait around to hear the rest, 
 I was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta luck. 
 And when I hit the ground, I was makin' tracks 
 And they were just takin' my car down off the jacks, 
 So I threw the man a twenty an' jumped in an' fired that mother up. 
  
  
 Mario Andretti woulda sure been proud 
 Of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd, 
 Comin' out the door and headin' toward me in a trot. 
 And I guess I shoulda gone ahead and run, 
 But somehow I couldn't resist the fun 
 Of chasin' them all just once around the parkin' lot. 
  
  
 Well, they're headin' for their car, but I hit the gas 
 And spun around and headed them off at the pass, 
 I was slingin' gravel and puttin' a ton of dust in the air. 
 Ha Ha, well, I had 'em all out there steppin' and fetchin', 
 Like their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin', 
 But I figured I oughta go ahead an split before the cops got there. 
  
  
 When I hit the road I was really wheelin' 
 Had gravel flyin' and rubber squeelin', 
 And I didn't slow down 'til I was almost to Arkansas.  
 Well, I think I'm gonna re-route my trip, 
 I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped, 
 If I went to L.A. - via Omaha. 
 
 

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