INTRO: A5 C5 F5 G5 C5 
 
C5 
Me and my buddy got us a wild hair 
    F5 
And figured we wanted to go somewhere 
      G5                      C5 
So we loaded up in my ragtop Chevrolet 
C5 
We had a little bit of money and a whole lot of show 
          F5 
What with Hank Jr. blarin' on the radio 
         G5                                  C5 
We got a tank full of gas and we was on our way 

We figured we'd go down to New Orleans 

We were barrelin' down old sevetneen 

When a man with a blinkin' red light was on our tail 

He saidd you were doin' 60 in a 45 

But I'm gonna let you go this time 

But if I catch you again I'm gonna slap you in the county jail 
 
We said thank you sir you've sure been nice 

And you ain't gonna have to tell us twice 

And we were southbound and down with the wind blowin' in our faces 

We kept on rollin' and pretty soon 

The radio was cooking out a Haggard tune 

And we were pullin' into and Houston checking out all them places 
 
I was feeling dry and I said I think 

We ought to stop and get ourselves a drink 

And old Jim said yeah 'cause we've got time to kill 

We kept on rollin' and I seen this spot 

And we pulled into the parking lot 

Of this place called the Cloud Nine Bar and Grill 
 
We walked thru the door and the place was jammed 

The lights were low and they had a punk rock band 

And some orange haired feller singing about suicide 

I said Jim this ain't our kind of place 

He said well let's just have one round anyway 

So against my better judgement we walked on inside 
 
Went up to the bar and we sat down 

This feller walked up and said I'll buy this round 

And he sat down on the barstool next to Jim 

He looked like a girl but he talked like a guy 

He had lipstick on and mascara in his eyes 

And everybody in that place looked just about like him 
 
I said Jim this ain't our kind of bar 

Let's just go on out and get back in the car 

'Cause there's gonna be trouble ain't no sense in takin' a chance 

We was gettin' up gettin' ready to leave  

When somebody grabbed old Jim by the sleeve 

It was this good looking girl she was asking my buddy to dance 
 
I said Jim don't do it there's something missin' 

There's fellers dancin' and fellers kissin' 

There's a feller in high heel shoes wearin' panty hose 

He said partner I just can't turn this down 

You just go over there and have one more round 

And I'll dance with the lady and we'll get on down the road 
 
So he walked away and left me alone 

And this funny lookin' feller kept comin' on 

And he was makin' me mad with some of the things he said 

And then he put his hand on my knee 

I said if you don't get your paw off me 

I'm gonna locate your nose around on the side of your head 
 
He said I love it when you get that fire in your eye 

I said well partner try this on for size 

I unloaded on him and he went out like a light 

Everybody in that place must have been his friend 

They all headed for me I said this is the end 

But where I come from we don't give up without a fight 
 
They were screamin' and yellin' and scratchin' and clawin' 

I was punchin' and hittin' and kickin' and pawin' 

I was holdin' my own 'cause I've been in a scrap or two 

Old Jim come runnin' up outta the blue 

And that gal he was with come runnin' up too 

And proceeded to beat on me with a high heel shoe 
 

C5 
I grabbed her by the hair and it come off in my hand 
         F5 
And that beautiful girl was just a beautiful man 
        G5                                    C5 
And old Jim just got sick right there on the floor 
C5 
He dropped that dude like a shot from a gun 
F5 
Smeared his lipstick made his makeup run 
    G/                                             C5    G5     
And me and old Jim started fightin' our way to the door 

(KEY CHANGE TO D) 
 

   D5 
We lit out of there in that Chevrolet 
      G5 
And I put her on the floor and it stayed that way 
       A5                                                D5  
We was going down the highway doin' about a hundred and ten 
D5 
We was headed for home and we was gettin' nearer 
       G5 
Then a red light come up in the rearview mirror 
         A5                                  D5     A5 
And that same blame cop was pulling us over again 

(KEY CHANGE TO E) 
 

        E5 
Now I'm sittin' here in this county jail 
         A5 
I had to call my daddy to go our bail 
      B5                                            E5 
But I learned me a lesson that I never will forget again 
     E5 
I've done give up drinkin' I've give up bars 
    A5 
And runnin' around the country in souped up cars 
          B5                       B5                    A5   B5  E5 
I'm goin' back where the women are women and the men are men