Get Drunk With Dignity - Dr Demento

Chords used - E, A, B, F#

E (022100@1)                         AWhen (x02220@1)you've had too much to drink
                Ethere's (022100@1)certain things to keep in mind.
                                  A (x02220@1)           BLike (x2444x@1)when you find your hands and underarms are bleeding
                                            Ayour (x02220@1)beer bottle might not have a twist off cap
                              E (022100@1)and don't ever go home with a woman they call Moose or Vince
F# (244322@1)                                BAnd (x2444x@1)never bet that you can fit your head inside a glove compartment

AGet (x02220@1)drunk with dignity
E (022100@1)                              BKeep (x2444x@1)in mind that just because a bulldog licks your face
       Eits (022100@1)not necessary to lick him back
A (x02220@1)                                   EStay (022100@1)away from drinks with names like brain seizure or hippo laxative
B (x2444x@1)                 EGet (022100@1)drunk with dignity
E (022100@1)                A (x02220@1)                EIf (022100@1)a bar has human ears nailed to the walls don't pass out there
                                    A (x02220@1)             Band (x2444x@1)if your homemade jelly has some goldfish in it ------- you used the wrong bowl
A (x02220@1)                            EAnd (022100@1)there are phrases you must learn to avoid phrases like
F# (244322@1)                         B"that (x2444x@1)badge looks stupid" and "I can prove these shoes are fireproof"
A (x02220@1)                   EGet (022100@1)drunk with dignity try not to drool on bikers
B (x2444x@1)                         EDon't (022100@1)moon a nun unless you got a real good reason
A (x02220@1)                      EDon't (022100@1)get romantically involved with farm machinery
B (x2444x@1)                 EGet (022100@1)drunk with dignity.

I first heard this song on Bob and Toms radio show and found it hilarious.
I don't think there are chords to this anywhere else.
I think they are correct but if not, you are only likely to sing this 
when you're drunk at a party so, who cares!
Enjoy
Bigbaws