Chords used - E5 , A5 , B5 , F#5

E5                           A5
When you've had too much to drink
                E5
there's certain things to keep in mind.
                                  A5             B5
Like when you find your hands and underarms are bleeding
                                            A5
your beer bottle might not have a twist off cap
                              E5 
and don't ever go home with a woman they call Moose or Vince
F#5                                  B5
And never bet that you can fit your head inside a glove compartment


A5
Get drunk with dignity
E5                                B5
Keep in mind that just because a bulldog licks your face
       E5
its not necessary to lick him back
A5                                     E5
Stay away from drinks with names like brain seizure or hippo laxative
B5                   E5
Get drunk with dignity
E5                  A5                  E5
If a bar has human ears nailed to the walls don't pass out there
                                    A5               B5
and if your homemade jelly has some goldfish in it ------- you used the wrong bowl
A5                              E5
And there are phrases you must learn to avoid phrases like
F#5                           B5
"that badge looks stupid" and "I can prove these shoes are fireproof"
A5                     E5
Get drunk with dignity try not to drool on bikers
B5                           E5
Don't moon a nun unless you got a real good reason
A5                        E5
Don't get romantically involved with farm machinery
B5                   E5
Get drunk with dignity.


I first heard this song on Bob and Toms radio show and found it hilarious.
I don't think there are chords to this anywhere else.
I think they are correct but if not, you are only likely to sing this 
when you're drunk at a party so, who cares!
Enjoy
Bigbaws