Intro
C, F, C, G, F, C, G, F, C 

 C
I play in a band 
               F               C  
We're the best in the land
                                            G
We're big in both Chelsea and France
          F                  C                  F                C
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
               F                    C                      G 
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance
      C                                   F                  C
So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty
                                                  G 
These other gals mean nothing to me
         F               C                   F                 C 
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night
                  F                 C                  Am 
'Cause I'm more than a handfull you'll see 

[Chorus:]
      F                 C
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
            F                      C             G                F
and i'm soaked and i'm soiled and brown in the trousers, 
       C
She kissed me!
          G     F                     C
And I only bought her one round




         C                        
I can bench press a car
           F               C  
I'm an ex football star
                                                      G
with degrees from both Harvard and Yale
         F                    C   
Girls just can't keep up
         F                C    
I'm a really love machine
              F             C               G
I've had far better sex while in jail
     C                            
I designed the Sears tower
            F                   C 
I make two grand an hour
                                               G
I cook the world's best duck flambe
                  F               C 
I'll take the pick of the litter
               F             C 
And girls jockey for me
            F               C               Am 
I don't need these lines to get laid 

[Chorus]

             C                
I'm the man of the night
           F          C
A real ladies delight
                                                G 
See, my figure was chisled from stone 
         F                 C               F              C  
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home
                 F           C         G
Come last call, I'm never alone
             C                                 F             C
I own a house on the hill with a red water bed
                                                     G 
It puts Hugh Heffnor's mansion to shame
         F                C            F                 C  
With girls by the pool and italian sports cars
               F               C                 Am 
I'm just here in this dump for the game

[Chorus x2]

Ahh, fuck it. Who am I shittin'? 

          C          
I'm a pitiful sight 
          F                 C
And I ain't all that bright
                                            G 
I'm definitly not chisled from stone
          F                C 
I'm a cheat and a liar
        F             C
No woman's desire
        F               G            C 
I'll probably die cold and alone 


                               C
But just give me a chance
                            F
Cause deep down inside
                                         G>
I swear I got a big heart of gold
                               C
I'm a monogamous man
                               F 
No more one night stands
                                                   G>
Come on, honey, let me take you home 

[Chorus x4]