CAPO: 4
G D
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Em C
Jaws all on the floor like Pam , like Tommy just burst in the door
G D
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
Em C
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
G D
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
Em C
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
G D
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Em C
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
G D
Feminist women love Eminem
Em
chigga chigga chigga
C
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at him ,
G D
Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
Em C
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
G D
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
Em C
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
G D Em
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
C
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
G D
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
Em C
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
G D
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
Em C
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
G D
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
Em
By the time they hit fourth grade
C
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
G D Em
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
C
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
G D
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Em C
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
G D
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Em C
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]
G D
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
Em C
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
G D
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Em C
please stand up, please stand up?
G D
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Em C
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
G D
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Em C
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
G D
"But Slim , what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Em C
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
G D
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Em C
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
G D
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
Em C
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
G D
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
Em C
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim , hee-hee!"
G D
I should download her audio on MP3
Em C
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
G D Em
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
C
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
G D
And there's a million of us just like me
Em C
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
G D
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
Em C
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[Chorus]
G D
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
Em C
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
G D
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
Em C
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
G D
I just get on the mic and spit it
Em C
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
G D
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Em C
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
G D
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
Em C
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
G D
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
Em C
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
G D
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
Em C
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
G D
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
Em
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
C
with his windows down and his system up
G D
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
Em C
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
G D
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
Em C
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Chorus 4X]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up
