http://freespace.virgin.net/stephen.theobald/biggun.htm D G D G My mother said that I never should A D play with the naughty rude girls in the wood. G D G Their giggling talk I could never understand A D and that's when I fell in love with my right hand and that's why G I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker C G and it does me good like it bloody well should. G I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker D G and I'm always pullin' my pud! D G D G I was 25 years old before I was kissed A D and then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist G D G It's cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD! A D It's available at any time and it's absolutely free! and that's why G I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker C G and it does me good like it bloody well should. G I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker D G and I'm always pullin' my pud! G C G Oh, Mrs. Palm and your five lovely daughters, C G D thank you for having me and being oh so kind. G C G I've got pains in my arms and my donkey's getting shorter. C G D G My knees have turned to water and I think I'm going blind. D G D G I've wanked over Italy, I've wanked over Spain A D I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had a wank in a train. D G D G I've used a badger and a melon and a cat A D an inflateable Linda Lovelegs and a Davy Crockett hat! and that's why G I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker C G and it does me good like it bloody well should. G I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker D G and I'm always pullin' my pud! G C G Oh, Mrs. Palm and your five lovely daughters, C G D thank you for having me and being oh so kind. G C G I've got pains in my arms and my donkey's getting shorter. C G D G My knees have turned to water and I think I'm going blind.
