INTRO: Stum the " E " 
DRUM  VERSES (Chords shown, strike once..then drums only until riff) 
E  
Well, I guess it was back in '63 
 
When eatin' my cookin' got the better of me                 lead guitar 
                                                       E  { E G A B A G E } 
So I asked this little girl I was goin' with to be my wife 
 
 
E 
Well, she said she would...So I said,'I do' 
 
But I'da said, 'I wouldn't'.If I'da just knew how sayin' 'I do' 
                    E   { E G A B A G E } 
Was gonna screw up all o' my life 
 
 
E 
Well, the first few years weren't all that bad 
 
I'll never forget the good times we had 
                                                             E  { E G A B A G E } 
Cause I'm reminded every month when I send her the child sup-port 
 
 
E 
Well, it wasn't too long til the lust all died 
 
And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised 
                                            E    { E G A B A G E } 
The day I came home and found my suitcase sittin'out on the porch 
 
CHORDED VERSES  
 

E 
Well, I tried to get in, she changed the lock 
A 
....Then I found this note taped on the mailbox that said 
B                                             E  { E G A B A G E }          
....'Goodbye, turkey...My attorney will be in touch' 
 
 
E 
So I decided right then and there 
A 
...I was gonna do what's right...Give 'er her fair share 
B                                                         E   { E G A B A G E } 
...But, brother, I didn't know her share was gonna be that much 
 
CHORUS 
             A 
She got the gold mine (She got the gold mine) 
          E 
I got the shaft (I got the shaft) 
      A 
They split it right down the middle 
              (stop)                     B (bass) Note
And then they  give   her the better half 
         E 
Well, it all sounds sorta funny 
       A 
But it hurts too much to laugh 
             E        B           E 
She got the gold mine,..I got the shaft 
 
DRUM VERSES 
E 
Now listen up...you ain't heard nothin' yet 
 
Why, they give 'er the color televison set 
                                        E  { E G A B A G E }       
Then they give 'er the house, the kids and both of the cars 
 
See 
 

E 
Well, then they started talkin' about child support, 
  
alimony..And the costs to the court 
                                                          E  { E G A B A G E } 
Didn't take me long to figure out how far in the toilet I was 
 
CHORDED VERSES 
E 
I'm tellin' ya, they have made a mistake 
A 
..'Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes 
B                                                          E  { E G A B A G E } 
..Besides, everythin' I ever had worth takin'they've already took 
 

E 
While she's livin' like a queen on alimony 
A 
...I'm workin' two shifts, eatin' baloney 
B                                    E   { E G A B A G E } 
...Askin' myself, 'Why didn't you just learn how to cook?' 
 
CHORUS 
                  A 
They give her the gold mine (She got the gold mine) 
                 E 
They give me the shaft (I got the shaft) 
                A 
They said they splittin' it all down the middle 
   (stop)                  B (bass Note) 
But she got the better half 
         E 
Well, it all sounds sorta funny 
        A 
But it hurts too much to laugh 
             E        B            E     
She got the gold mine,..I got the shaft 
 
CHORUS INSTRUMENTALLY 
 
CHORUS /VOCALS 
E                 A 
Well, She got the gold mine (She got the gold mine) 
          E                
I got the shaft (I got the shaft) 
     A 
They split it all down the middle 
        (stop)                    B (bass Note)   
But they give  her the better half 
         E 
Well, it all sounds mighty funny(Ooh, ooh, ha ha ha) 
       A 
But it hurts too much to laugh 
             E       B           E 
She got the gold mine,.I got the shaft 
 
OUTRO VERSE 
 

B                              E 
Yea, I ain't kiddin..I got the shaft 
B                       E 
...But I don't have to worry about totin' a billfold anymore 
B 
....Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha 
E                                        B 
....I let my wife tote it...I'm gonna be carryin' food stamps 
                  E 
You get it, judge...I'm gonna be indebted 
B                   E 
...That's not funny....Huh...                  
B                    
...Contempt of court. 
                      E                   B - E (fade) 
What do you mean..I'm in contempt of court