INTRO: Stum the " E5 " 
DRUM  VERSES (Chords shown, strike once..then drums only until riff) 
E5  
Well, I guess it was back in '63 
 
When eatin' my cookin' got the better of me                 lead guitar 
                                                       E5  { E5 G5 A5 B5 A5 G5 E5 } 
So I asked this little girl I was goin' with to be my wife 
 
 
E5 
Well, she said she would...So I said,'I do' 
 
But I'da said, 'I wouldn't'.If I'da just knew how sayin' 'I do' 
                    E5   { E5 G5 A5 B5 A5 G5 E5 } 
Was gonna screw up all o' my life 
 
 
E5 
Well, the first few years weren't all that bad 
 
I'll never forget the good times we had 
                                                             E5  { E5 G5 A5 B5 A5 G5 E5 } 
Cause I'm reminded every month when I send her the child sup-port 
 
 
E5 
Well, it wasn't too long til the lust all died 
 
And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised 
                                            E5    { E5 G5 A5 B5 A5 G5 E5 } 
The day I came home and found my suitcase sittin'out on the porch 
 
CHORDED VERSES  
 

E5 
Well, I tried to get in, she changed the lock 
A5 
....Then I found this note taped on the mailbox that said 
B5                                             E5  { E5 G5 A5 B5 A5 G5 E5 }          
....'Goodbye, turkey...My attorney will be in touch' 
 
 
E5 
So I decided right then and there 
A5 
...I was gonna do what's right...Give 'er her fair share 
B5                                                         E5   { E5 G5 A5 B5 A5 G5 E5 } 
...But, brother, I didn't know her share was gonna be that much 
 
CHORUS 
             A5 
She got the gold mine (She got the gold mine) 
          E5 
I got the shaft (I got the shaft) 
      A5 
They split it right down the middle 
              (stop)                     B5 (bass) Note
And then they  give   her the better half 
         E5 
Well, it all sounds sorta funny 
       A5 
But it hurts too much to laugh 
             E5        B5           E5 
She got the gold mine,..I got the shaft 
 
DRUM VERSES 
E5 
Now listen up...you ain't heard nothin' yet 
 
Why, they give 'er the color televison set 
                                        E5  { E5 G5 A5 B5 A5 G5 E5 }       
Then they give 'er the house, the kids and both of the cars 
 
See 
 

E5 
Well, then they started talkin' about child support, 
  
alimony..And the costs to the court 
                                                          E5  { E5 G5 A5 B5 A5 G5 E5 } 
Didn't take me long to figure out how far in the toilet I was 
 
CHORDED VERSES 
E5 
I'm tellin' ya, they have made a mistake 
A5 
..'Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes 
B5                                                          E5  { E5 G5 A5 B5 A5 G5 E5 } 
..Besides, everythin' I ever had worth takin'they've already took 
 

E5 
While she's livin' like a queen on alimony 
A5 
...I'm workin' two shifts, eatin' baloney 
B5                                    E5   { E5 G5 A5 B5 A5 G5 E5 } 
...Askin' myself, 'Why didn't you just learn how to cook?' 
 
CHORUS 
                  A5 
They give her the gold mine (She got the gold mine) 
                 E5 
They give me the shaft (I got the shaft) 
                A5 
They said they splittin' it all down the middle 
   (stop)                  B5 (bass Note) 
But she got the better half 
         E5 
Well, it all sounds sorta funny 
        A5 
But it hurts too much to laugh 
             E5        B5            E5     
She got the gold mine,..I got the shaft 
 
CHORUS INSTRUMENTALLY 
 
CHORUS /VOCALS 
E5                 A5 
Well, She got the gold mine (She got the gold mine) 
          E5                
I got the shaft (I got the shaft) 
     A5 
They split it all down the middle 
        (stop)                    B5 (bass Note)   
But they give  her the better half 
         E5 
Well, it all sounds mighty funny(Ooh, ooh, ha ha ha) 
       A5 
But it hurts too much to laugh 
             E5       B5           E5 
She got the gold mine,.I got the shaft 
 
OUTRO VERSE 
 

B5                              E5 
Yea, I ain't kiddin..I got the shaft 
B5                       E5 
...But I don't have to worry about totin' a billfold anymore 
B5 
....Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha 
E5                                        B5 
....I let my wife tote it...I'm gonna be carryin' food stamps 
                  E5 
You get it, judge...I'm gonna be indebted 
B5                   E5 
...That's not funny....Huh...                  
B5                    
...Contempt of court. 
                      E5                   B5 - E5 (fade) 
What do you mean..I'm in contempt of court