Capo 4 
 
G                        C            G 
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my feet are too long 
G                            A7             D 
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong 
G                                    C             G 
My friends they all tell me, they're no friends at all 
           G                           D         G 
Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call 
C  | --D     G 
Signed Bewildered 
 
Bewildered, Bewildered you have no complaint 
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't 
So listen up buster listen up good 
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood 
 
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks 
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks 
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed 
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead 
Signed Unhappy 
 
Unhappy, Unhappy, you have no complaint ... 
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't 
So listen up buster listen up good 
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood 
 
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this 
But my stomache makes noises whenever I kiss 
My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head 
But my stomache tells me to write you instead 
Signed Noisemaker. 
 
Noisemaker, Noisemaker, you have no complaint ... 
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't 
So listen up buster listen up good 
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood 
 
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, well I never thought 
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught 
We were sittin' in the back seat just shootin' the breeze 
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees 
Signed Just Married 
 
Just Married, Just Married, you have no complaint ... 
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't 
So listen up buster listen up good 
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood