Key: E5

Tuning: Standard EADGBe



Intro: 
E5 - Ab5 - C#5 - D5 - A5 - F5 - F#5 - B5
E5 - Ab5 - C#5 - B5 - A5 - B5 - E--


Verse 1:
E5    Ab5 C#5        B5           A5
  Hello    welcome to the show Thought
   Ab5      F#5    B5 E5       Ab5
we broke up years ago What's up
C#5       B5             A5       B5
   I just shit my pants Gambled and
  E5   E5     Ab5   C#5          B5
I lost Good times   just blew out
             A5      Ab5
my knee I've fallen and I 
F#5       B5 E5   Ab5
can't get up Oh shit
C#5          B5
   I think I broke my 
     A5           B5    Ab5
back Where's the wheelchair? 


Chorus 1:
    C#5       A5 Ab5
I'm old school 
    C#5       A5 Ab5
I'm played out
E5
  Osteoporosis
Ab5
  glaucoma and neurosis 
A5
  The vultures circling 
 B5
above our balding heads 


Verse 2:
E5        Ab5   C#5
  Second verse   the 
    B5
same as the first 
A5    Ab5     F#5
I forgot the words 
 B5   E5   Ab5 C#5          B5
again Railer   lost my inhaler 
A5              B5            E5
  Who's got a smoke for the Caper? 
E5      Ab5 C#5       B5              A5 Ab5 F#5 B5
  Hold on    let me catch my breath 
E5     Ab5   C#5       B5
  All right   I feel better 
    A5       B5      Ab5
now Take it to the bridge 


Brdige:
A5               E5   C#5
  I'll never be Ozzy   On 
               B5    A5          E5
stage when I'm fifty I'm gonna look 
          Ab5                A5
like Elvis  By the time I'm forty 
A5               E5    C#5
  We're already bogus   We're already 
B5     A5            E5
fading We'll never be The 
         Ab5
Rolling Stones I'm staying home 


Chorus 2:

C#m--A-G#- x2

E5                    Ab5
  Dementia and senility My failing 
            A5
muscles atrophy I've lost all
     B5
ability Falling apart


Interlude:
E5 - Ab5 - C#5 - D5 - A5 - F5 - F#5 - B5
E-G#-C#m-B7-A-B-E--


Outro:
E5      Ab5  C#5      B5
  Blue hair   brown teeth 
A5         Ab5   F#5  B5
  Failing livers   defeat 
E5       Ab5      C#5    F#5
  Maybe we will try to pull 
   A5        F#5    E5   E(hold)
it off For another year