A pain to transpose, but here it is so no one else has to go the misery.

Narrator: And now's it time for Obscure Broadway Show Tunes with Larry. The part of the 
where Larry comes out and sings an obscure Broadway show tune. Without further ado, from 
unknown musical "Office Supplies," the heart-rending love song, "Where Have All 
the Staplers Gone?"

Larry: We don't have much time before the big meeting.
Petunia: No. No, we don't.
        Dm                  A7             D
Larry: Have you seen the scissors, miss?
           F                      G
Petunia: They're in the bottom drawer
        Bb                                F
Larry: I tried that drawer but they're there no more
Petunia: That's odd
        Gm                   Dm
Larry: I know I thought for sure
                                A7
Petunia: Have you seen the masking tape?
        F                         G
Larry: It's right next to the phone
          Bb                         F
Petunia: That's what I thought but now's it not
G                         C
I guess I should have known
           C  Ab                        Bbm
Together: Ohhhh... Where have all the staplers gone?
Eb7                    Ab
What happened to our paper clips?
          Fm                     Bbm
Petunia: The ballpoint pens are gone again
Larry: They're gone again
                                                  Bdim
Together: The stick-it pads have lost their stick
Do you remember when...
       Fm                    C7
Larry: The rubber bands were in their place?
          Ab                         Bb
Petunia: They're in the middle drawer
Rubber Bands: Middle drawer, middle drawer
        C#              Ab
Larry: Light bulbs easy to replace
Petunia: Yes!
       Bbm                Fm
Larry: There were always more
         Fm              C7
Petunia: Reams of paper raining down
Paper: Raining, raining down
           Ab                 Bb
Together: Legal pads a plenty
Legal Pads: We're legal
            C#            Ab
Petunia: Highlighters in every hue
Larry: I remember!
           Bbm              Eb
Together: Never less than twenty
B                              C#m
Ohhhh... Where have all the staplers gone?
F#7                    B
What happened to our paper clips?
       Abm                    C#m
Larry: The ballpoint pens are gone again
Petunia: They're gone again
                                        Ddim
Together: We've run out of packing slips
          Cm
Petunia: Someday my prints will come
         G
Larry: Please replace the toner
          Cm
Petunia: Someday we'll find more of
        G
Larry: Our manila folders
          Eb
Petunia: Someday my prints will come
        Bb
Larry: Where's the printer cable?
          Eb
Petunia: Someday we'll find more of
          Ab/Bb                   Bb--C
Together: Adhesive shipping labels
C                              Dm
Ohhhh... Where have all the staplers gone?
G7                     C
What happened to our paper clips?
Paper Clips/Staplers: Paper clips
       Am                  Dm
Larry: The ballpoints are gone again
Petunia: They're gone again
          Bdim                     F/G      G
Together: The Sharpies all have flattened tips
C                               Am
Where have all the staplers gone?

Narrator: This has been Obscure Broadway Show Tunes with Larry. Tune in for act two: 
of the Staplers.