Intro  ( G, Em, C, D)           No Capo

    G
Oh, I want to write a song, not too short, not too long,

      Em
I'll get respect from all the lads, (who's your man, he's not bad)

      C
I need not wait too long, I'll write song after song,

      D (once)
It'll be me on MTV, doing a duet with Elton John

      G
I'll become so big and famous, I'll change me name to Seamus,

      Em
Be the coolest of the Paddy's, who's your feckin daddy

      C
The girls in the crowd, screaming really loud,

      D
"Oh Seamus you're the best, will you sign me massive chest?"

      G
Well I'm sorry maiden Michelle, I'm a pure professional

      Em
I won't have antics in me trailer, so treat me like a sailor

      C
"But what about your shows, at every one we have been?",

      D(Once)                                           D
I'm sorry girls it's not my fault but you're only 15

      G
Oh I won't walk down the street cause I'll be up the fucking walls

      Em
Everyone will want a kiss, and sure grab or rub me balls,

      C
I'll be hyper, hyper, hyper, I will not shleep at night

      D(once)
Ashtounded by the fact that I can even sell my shite

(Slower) G
But sometimes I think to myself, "Ar I'd be better off just being me"

      C                                 D
And play my songs for my friends on the sofa side of MTV

      C                      D
Oh I think of Spirituality, Hymns and going to mass,

                  C                                      D
But you know I'd trade it all, for Rock n Roll, so I could hire a guy to wipe my ass

      G
Oh there's one thing I won't do, If i make it really big,

      Em
I won't end up like Shnoopy Dogg with fucking pig tails and a shmig,

      C
And all your songs are cat, the lads think you're a twat,

      D(once)
And why If you can see us do you insist on asking "where are y'all at?"

      G
I mean your grammar is atrocious, it should be "where are ye?"

               Em (once)
sure the only Youghal that we know, is a Cork town by the see

      C
And if we started hanging out, down in Youghal or anything,

      D
I'd catch you by the pigtails, swing you round and fuck you in,

      G                    (stop playing)
Now, and in me videos, I'd bust a move, or grab me crotch

      Em (once)
And where you'd be off saying "bitch", I'd be saying "biatch"

      C
I'm driving in me flashy car, the girlies all along side me,

      D
Oh fuckin hell there's Snoop, if I duck down will you hide me?

And he sang,

 G                             Em
"Seamus, he just want's to be famous"

 C                            D
He's about 13 new women on the go

 G                          Em
Seamus he just wants to be famous

 C                            D
And he'll keep his eye on that goal


Spoken - (Now for the high bit, go on Seamus)

 G                     Em
Laaaa, la la la la la laaaa

                C
la la la la la laaaa

                D
la la la la la laaaa

            D
Spoken - ( And he sang it again, even though the crowd we're shouting at him, and 
telling him to fuck off, he sang..)

 G                     Em
Laaaa, la la la la la laaaa

                C
la la la la la laaaa

                D
la la la la la laaaa

           D
Spoken - (And at this stage the auditorium was empty, it was just some fella sweeping up 
auld litter down the back and he still going, and he said..)

 G                     Em
Laaaa, la la la la la laaaa

                C
la la la la la laaaa

                D     (stop playing)
la la la la la laaaa


Then someone came up and plugged him out!