Knock-Off Nigel
(Nicky Patterson 2008)

Capo IV

Chords C, Em, Am

V1:
If a December stuck in Virgin’s
Or the queues in HMV’s
Don’t tickle your fancy
For those latest DVDs
I know a man whose business
Is to provide those silver discs
With very little overhead
But no question of the risks!

V2:
He doesn’t do dodgy copies
Like those one’s done from cinema seats
With those silouhettes going to and fro
And the constant rustling of sweets!
No only deals in retail
Or ‘pure belters’ if they’re any good
He has no written catalogue
Although I really think that he should!

V3:
His prices are pretty healthy
Since he prints the covers too
And you get all this for £4 each
Or 3 for the price of 2!
And his name’s not really Nigel, no
Although that’s his true theme tune
But he certainly deals in knock-offs
He’s a pirate disc tycoon!

V4:
So to avoid the queues this xmas
And the high street’s shopping throng
Just send a wee text to Nigel
And you surely won’t go wrong!
He’s got the new James Bond
And High School Musical 7
And as long as you don’t mind the Chinese dubs
You’ll be in home-cinema heaven!