G5   C5  (x4) 
INTRO 
G5                 C5 
Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk, 
G5              C5 
At a christmas party 
G5                E5                  C5           D5 
We were drinkin' champagne punch and homemade eggnog. 
G5                         C5 
Little sister brought her new boyfriend, 
G5        C5 
He was a Mexican. 
G5                      E5 
We didn't know what to think of him , 
        C5               D5              G5   C5  G5  C5 
'Til he sang Feliz Navi Da, Feliz Navi Da. 
 
 
G5                       C5 
Brother Ken brought his kids with him. 
G5                  C5 
The three from his first wife Lynn, 
G5       G5  E5                      C5                D5  
And the two  identical twins from his second wife Mary-Nell. 
G5                         C5 
Of course, he brought his new wife Kaye, 
G5                   C5 
Who talks all about AA. 
G5     G5              E5             C5     D5 
Chain smokin' while the stereo plays Noel, Noel. 
            G5   C5  G5   C5 
The First Noel. 
 
 
D5 
Carve the turkey, turn the ball game on, 
C5 
Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone. 
D5 
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store, 
C5 
We need some ice and an extension cord. 
D5 
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite, 
C5 
A box of Pampers, some Marlboro Lights. 
G5    G5        E5 
Hallelujah, everybody say cheese 
      C5                  D5   G5   C5  G5  C5 
Merry Christmas from the family. 
 
 
G5                        C5 
Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen, 
G5                        C5 
I can't remember how I'm kin to them. 
G5             G5                E5 
But when they tried to plug their motorhome in, 
     C5                  D5 
They blew our christmas lights. 
G5                      C5 
Cousin David knew just what went wrong, 
G5                       C5  
So we all waited out on our front lawn. 
G5            G5            E5 
He threw the breaker and the lights came on, 
       C5           D5             G5     C5 
And we sang Silent Night, Silent Night. 
           G5    C5 
Oh, Holy Night. 
 
 
D5 
Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on, 
C5 
Make Bloody Marys cause we all want one. 
D5 
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go, 
C5 
We need some celery and a can of fake snow. 
D5 
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite, 
C5 
A box of Midol, some Salem Lights 
G5    G5        E5 
Hallelujah, everybody say cheese. 
      C5                  D5   G5  C5  G5  C5 
Merry Christmas from the family 
           G5 
Feliz Navi Da.