INTRO 
G5

VERSE
G5              
I still haven't found a girlfriend
C5                  D5
though I've tried a lot
G5
So can you help me please
C5                  D5
it's tougher than I thought

C5      G5            D5
The odds are pretty good but
    E5              C5
the goods are pretty odd
                                                D5
still at this point I'd take anything you've got.

G5
You see this all the time
     C5                 D5
nice girls in love with jerks
G5
What could they be thinking
C5             D5
Tell me how it works

C5        G5        D5                             
If I've got some problems well I
E5           C5
wouldn't be the first
                                        D5
but the ones I have in mind are even worse

CHORUS
C5 D5  E5            C5
Even Hilter had a girlfriend
G5                  D5
Who he could always call
        G5
Who'd always be there for him
C5                   D5
In spite of all his faults
C5       G5              D5
He was the worst guy ever
G5       D5      E5
reviled and despised
     C5             A5                     D5
Even Hilter had a girlfriend so why can't I
             (short pause) C
Why can't I? 

VERSE
G5
Life is full of contradictions
C5       D5
Hard to understand
G5
And for every happy woman
C5              D5
There's a lonely man

C5       G5              D5
Nixon had his puppy
            E5                     C5
Charles Manson had his clan
                                                                   D5
But god forbid that I get a girlfriend

CHORUS
C5 D5 E5            C5
Even Hilter had a girlfriend
G5                        D5
Who he could call his own
        G5
to sweeten days of bitterness
C5                       D5
and feeling all alone
C5       G5                        D5
I'm not as bad as Hilter but it
E5              C5
doesn't mean a thing since
        C5                A5              D5      
they'd rather be with Hitler more than me
        E5                         C5
I don't see why they'd rather be with
D5               G5
Hitler more than me