( C )- play C once
[ C ]- palm mute C

[ C ]                          F
I'm in love with my right hand
    C
Ohh yeah
[ C ]                                             F
He is always there, when i need a 5 minute friend
    C          ( G )
Ohh yeah

                        Am
And i can speed myself up
               F
Slow myself down
                   ( C )( C )  ( G )( G )( C )( C )
As long as there's no one else a-round
          Am                F
It's just me and my adult DVD

(power chords)

[ Ab ]                            [ G ]
And i can freeze the frame at my favorite part
   [ Ab ]                       [ G ]
And pretend the the actress is here
     [ Ab ]                [ A# ]        [ Ab ]       C(bar on 8th)
I can pretend that Mandy Mammaries is here with me

Then repeat

The rest of the lyrics

I like to call myself up on the phone tell me how pretty I look today. Cause I know I'm 
a sure thing.
I buy myself a dozen roses, open a bottle of wine, and turn the light down low, and then 
I start to do my thing.

 And I can talk to myself in a deep sexy voice, or I can let out an animal noise (meow)
cause it's just me, I got my privacy.

And I can stop right before I explode, or let it go and wait 'til I reload, but either 
way I'm gonna love me all night long.

 I catch myself in the mirror, I say god damn I like what I see, I can't have another 
girlfriend, cause that would just be cheating on me...