This is the way Phil played it at the Democratic Convention......


D                                      E
I'm just a typical American boy from a typical American town.
    A7                                                      D
I believe in God and Senator Dodd and in keeping old Castro down.
    D                                     E
And when it came my time to serve, I knew better dead than red.
    A7                                                     D
But when I got to my ol' draft board, buddy this is what I said:

:
            D
"Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen,
      E
And I always carry a purse.
      A7                                                             D
I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse.
    D                                          E
Oh, think of my career, my sweetheart dear, my poor old invalid aunt.
           A7
Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm going to school,
                             D
And I'm working in a defense plant.

        D
I got a dislocated disc, and a racked up back,
      E
I'm allergic to flowers and bugs,
             A7
And when the bombshell hits I get epileptic fits
                               D
And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs.
          D
I got the weakness woes, I can't touch my toes,
      E
I can hardly reach my knees.
           A7                                            D
And if the enemy came close to me, I'd probably start to sneeze."



       D                                       E
I hate Chou En Lai and I hope he dies, but one thing you gotta see,
     A7                                                    D
That someone's gotta go over there, and that someone isn't me.
     D
So I wish you well, Sarge, give 'em hell,
      E
Yeah, kill me a thousand or so.
           A7
And if you ever get a war without blood and gore,
                          D
Well I'll be the first to go.


my friend tabbed it so i wont take credit