From "A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!"

Written by David Javerbaum and Adam Schlesinger, sung by Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. 

Sunny figured this out - I just played the giant goy. 



           G            Fdim   Am       D7
Jon: Can I interest you     in Hannukah?
      G              Fdim        C      D7
Maybe something in a Festival of Lights
       C        D7             G         E7
It's a sensible alternative to Christmas
       Am                                D7
And it lasts for seven - for you - eight nights.
n/C
Stephen: Hanukkah huh? I've never really thought about it.
n/C
Jon: Well, you could do worse.
               G      Fdim
Stephen: Is it merry?
          Am            D7
Jon: It's kind of merry
               G       Fdim
Stephen: Is it cheery?
          C        D7
Jon: It's got some cheer
               C
Stephen: Is it jolly?
             D7                 G      E7
Jon: Look, I wouldn't know from jolly.
         C              D7               G     G7
But it's not my least unfavourite time of year.
                   C
Stephen: When's it start?
         D7
Jon: The 25th
            G
Stephen: Of December?
     E7
Jon: Kislev
                 C             D7
Stephen: When is when exactly?
            G      E7
Jon: I will check
                   C
Stephen: Are there presents?
             D7            G        E7
Jon: Yes, indeed 8 days of presents
                C                        D7
Which means one nice one, then a week of dreck.
              C           G        Am                  G       C           
Stephen: Does Hanukkah commemorate events profound and holy? A king who came 
   G
to save the world?
         Am                    D7
Jon: No, oil that burned quite slowly
n/C
Stephen: Well, it sounds fantastic!
n/C                        G
Jon: There's more! We have latkes
                  Fdim
Stephen: What are they?
            Am        D7          G
Jon: Potato pancakes.     We have dreidels
                  Fdim
Stephen: What are they?
            Am    D7          C
Jon: Wooden tops.     We have candles
                  D7
Stephen: What are they?
              G       E7              C                  D7           G
Jon: THEY ARE CANDLES!    And when we light them, oh the fun it never stops.
n/C
What do you say, Stephen, do you want to give Hanukkah a try?
             C             G             Am          G     
Stephen: I'm trying see me as a Jew, I'm trying even harder
    C            G                Am              D7
But I believe in Jesus Christ, so it's a real non-starter
             G           Fdim    Am       D7       G          Fdim       
Jon: I can't interest you     in Hanukkah?  Just a little bit?
                        Am   D7          C          D7
Stephen: No thanks I'll pass.  I'll keep Jesus, you keep your potato 
G        E7       Am              Gmaj7      Am                   G
pancakes.   But I hope that you enjoy 'em on behalf of all of the goyim.
        Am               Gmaj7       Am              G
Jon: Be sure to tell the Pontiff, my people say Good Yontif.
         Am                       E7
Stephen: That's exactly what I'll do
n/c         C        D7
Both: Happy holidays,   you
             G
Jon/Stephen: Too!/Jew!

Jon: Too?