Resume Man Intro 

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G
Well a funny thing happened at a gig the other day
C
When a man approached me with a resume?
G                                             D
And said 'if you need any help, then I?m your man.'
C
He said, 'I?ll work the door, I?ll load your gear
G
if you boys Get thirsty, I?ll go for beer,
G                                 D               G
and if it ever breaks down, I can Even fix your van'


When I asked the guy what he did for work
I saw a twinkle in his eye and he gave a little smirk
he said, 'I work right down the Road, I?ve got a melon stand.
Set up in a shady spot, I sell watermelon and a little good pot,
And last year I made *** near thirty grand.'

He said, 'I need a change and I love your sound,
I sure Would like to get out of this town
and dedicate my life to a Rock and roll band.
I?ve been a race car mechanic and a body guard,
I?m a CPA and I work real hard.
Come on and hire me on, I can see you boys need a hand.'

'You know I?ve done it all and been around
Had a lot of good jobs, seen a lot of rough towns.
I?d like to offer you my services for hire.
I was a cook in the army and I drove a jeep,
I had an Eighty acre ranch where I ran some sheep,
I sang bass in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.'

Chorus:

C                                  G
He?s a resume? man, he?s a resume? man.
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If he can?t do it, I don?t know who can
C                               G
It says right here, he?s qualified
G                              D                   G
Fifty years on the job but the man is only forty-five.



But things started getting a little weird
When he stared at Mike and took a swig of beer,
And said, 'What?s with the lady, she really blows my
mind.'
Well I know the man was qualified, he?d worked a
hundred Different jobs, done them all with pride but
he wasn?t exactly the Help we?d hope to find.

Chorus