Am Some friends and I in a public house G Am Were playing a game of chance one night G F E When into the pub a fireman ran F E His face all chalky white. Am "What?s up,? says Brown, "Have you seen a ghost, G Am Or have you seen your Aunt Mariah?" G F E "Me Aunt Mariah be buggered!" says he, F E "The bleedin? pub?s on fire!" (Chorus) Am And there was Brown, upside down G Am Lappin? up the whiskey from the floor G F E "Booze, booze!" The firemen cried F E As they came knockin? at the door (clap clap) Am Oh don?t let ?em in till it?s all drunk up G Am And somebody shouted Maclntyre! MACINTYRE! G F E And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk F E Am When the Old Dun Cow caught fire. Am "Fire," says Brown, "What a bit of luck. G Am Everybody follow me G F E We?ll go down to the cellar, if the fire?s not there F E Then we?ll have a grand old spree." Am So we went on down after good old Brown G Am For booze we could not miss G F E And we hadn?t been there five minutes before F E We were all quite pissed. (Repeat Chorus) Am Then, Smith walked over to the port wine tub G Am And gave it just a few hard knocks (clap clap) G F E He started takin? off his pantaloons F E Likewise his shoes and socks Am "Hold on, "says Brown, "that ain?t allowed G Am Ye canna do that in here G F E Don?t go washin? trotters in the port wine tub F E When we got some low carb beer. (Repeat Chorus) Am And then there came to the old back door G Am The Vicar of our local church G F E And when he had seen our drunken ways F E He began to scream and curse Am "You drunken sods, you heathen clods G Am You?ve taken to a drunken spree! G F E And you drank up all that Benedictine Brandy F E And you didn?t save a drop for me!" (Repeat Chorus) Am And then there came a mighty crash G Am Half the bloody roof gave way G F E We were almost drowned in the firemen?s hose F E But we were gonna stay Am So we got some tacks and some old wet sacks G Am And we nailed ourselves inside G F E And we sat there drinkin? the finest rum F E ?Till we was bleary-eyed (Repeat Chorus) Am Later that night when the fire was out G Am We came up from the cellar below G F E Our pub was burned, our booze was drunk F E And our heads were a-hangin? low Am "Oh look,? says Brown, with a look quite queer G Am It seemed something caught his ire G F E "We?ve gotta get down to Murphy?s pub F E It closes on the hour!" (Repeat Chorus)
