Verse (1)
  A5                 G5
I heard there is no Christmas, 

       F5            E5
In the silly Middle East.. 

   A5                  G5
No Trees, no Snow, no Santa Claus, 

          F5                     E5
They have Different Religious beliefs.. 

F5                 G5
They Believe in Muhammad, 

    A5              G5
And not in our Holiday.. 

    F5          G5 
And so every December, 

            A5               B5
I go to the Middle East and say.. 

Chorus (1)

C5                                  G5
Hey there Mr Muslim , Merry Fucking Christmas 

    
Put down that book 'The Koran' 

                      C5
and hear some holiday wishes 

  C5                ( G5 )
Incase you haven't noticed, 

     ( C5 )          A5
it's Jesus's Birthday 

       C5               G5
So get off you heathen Muslim Ass 

                C5
And fucking celebrate. 

Verse (2)

There is no holiday season in india, 
i've heard.. 
They don't hang up their stockings, 
and that is just absurd.. 
They've never read a Christmas Story, 
They Don't know what Rudolph is about.. 
And that's why in December, 
I'll go to india and shout.. 

Chorus (2)

Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry Fucking Christmas 
Dring some 'nog, and eat some Beef 
and pass it to the Missus 
Incase you haven't noticed, 
It's Jesus's Birthday 
So get off your heathen hindu ass, 
And fucking celebrate. 

Verse (3)

Now I heard that in Japan, 
Everyone just lives in sin.. 
They pray to several gods, 
And put needles in their skin.. 
On December twenty-fifth, 
all they do is eat a cake.. 
and that is why i'll go to Japan, 
and walk around and say.. 

Chorus (3)

Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry Fucking Christmas 
God is gonna kick your ass You infidelic pagan scum. 
Incase you haven't noticed, 
There's festive things to do 
So lets all rejoice for Jesus 
and Merry Fucking Christmas to you. 

Ending

   A5                                 B5
On Christmas Day, I travel round the world and say.. 

C5                   G5
Taoists, Korishnas, Buddists 

            C5        A5
and all you atheists too.. 

C5             D5
Merry Fucking Christmas

E5  C5               ( G5 ) ( C5 )
to yooooooouuuuuuuu....... 

(spoken)Thank you, Mr Hat..