G (320003@1)                     AWanna (x02220@1)have some quality time with my son
C (x32010@1)                                  GSo (320003@1)I brought him down to the fishin' hole
G (320003@1)                             ADidn't (x02220@1)like the feelin' of that worm in his hand
    C (x32010@1)                         GGot (320003@1)mad, threw down his fishin' pole

G (320003@1)                               ASaid, (x02220@1)"That's alright, son. Let's go and get an ice cream"
 C (x32010@1)                        G"Let (320003@1)your old man buy you a treat"
G (320003@1)                           ABut (x02220@1)he didn't like no flavors up upon that wall
C (x32010@1)                              GStarted (320003@1)crying, and ran into the street...

        G (320003@1)                  B (x2444x@1) 
He's an asshole, my kid's an asshole
C (x32010@1)                            GI (320003@1)swear it just don't float my boat
       G (320003@1)            BAlways (x2444x@1)crying, always crying
C (x32010@1)                                   GMade (320003@1)me wanna punch him in his little throat

G (320003@1)                  ACalled (x02220@1)my lady up to tell her what had happened
C (x32010@1)                 GHow (320003@1)our son had run away
G (320003@1)                           AShe (x02220@1)said, "Don't worry, baby, I will talk to him"
C (x32010@1)                     G"And (320003@1)everything will be okay"

             G (320003@1)               BMy (x2444x@1)lady's an asshole, she's an asshole
C (x32010@1)                          GHer (320003@1)assholishness is off the charts
       G (320003@1)             BAlways (x2444x@1)perfect, always perfect
C (x32010@1)                        GMade (320003@1)me wanna punch her in her lady-parts

(Whistling)

G (320003@1)              AI (x02220@1)decided I'd go down to the bar
C (x32010@1)                       GAnd (320003@1)drown my sorrows in a beer
G (320003@1)                        ABut (x02220@1)the sign outside said 'Closed For Renovations'
C (x32010@1)                       G'We'll (320003@1)open up again next year'...

               G (320003@1)              BThat (x2444x@1)bar is an asshole, it's an asshole
C (x32010@1)                      GOh, (320003@1)the worst bar in the land!
       G (320003@1)             BAlways (x2444x@1)closing, always closing
C (x32010@1)                                       GCan't (320003@1)punch a bar, cause you'll hurt your hand

(Whistling)

G (320003@1)            AI (x02220@1)went home to forget about my troubles
C (x32010@1)                          GSat (320003@1)down in my favorite easy chair
G (320003@1)                          ABut (x02220@1)I couldn't relax for the pain I was feelin'
C (x32010@1)                       GAs (320003@1)my hemorrhoid began to flair...

                G (320003@1)             BMy (x2444x@1)asshole's an asshole, a real butthole
C (x32010@1)                              GNeeds (320003@1)to put his asshole-self in check!
       G (320003@1)             BAlways (x2444x@1)burning, always itching
C (x32010@1)                                    GMade (320003@1)me wanna punch him in his asshole neck

(Whistling)

G (320003@1)             ALate (x02220@1)one night, lyin' awake in bed
C (x32010@1)                 GMmmm, (320003@1)a realization came
G (320003@1)                       AAre (x02220@1)there really assholes everywhere I look?
C (x32010@1)                GOr (320003@1)am I the one to blame?

G (320003@1)                 AMaybe (x02220@1)I just do not say the things I should say
C (x32010@1)                         GAnd (320003@1)I don't do the things I ought to
G (320003@1)                            ASo (x02220@1)I took a good, hard look at myself in the mirror
C (x32010@1)                GAnd (320003@1)this is what I thought...

                                      G (320003@1)              BThe (x2444x@1)guy who sold me this mirror is an asshole, he's an asshole
C (x32010@1)                        GSon (320003@1)of a bitch said it was antique
       G (320003@1)           BHe (x2444x@1)was lyin', he was lyin'
C (x32010@1)                                     GMade (320003@1)me wanna punch him in his salesman cheek

C (x32010@1)                   GI'm (320003@1)on a real asshole streak
C (x32010@1)                        GI (320003@1)could open up an asshole boutique
C (x32010@1)                                GI (320003@1)think this song has reached it's peak
C (x32010@1)                                 GGoodbye, (320003@1)you assholes, see you next week!