These took a long time to transcribe, and I feel they are most suitably played on 
guitar with a capo. I replaced the non-harmonic bass tones with
7th chords to make it easier to play on guitar. It's verse, chorus, bridge, verse, 
chorus, outro. These are some extremely creative chords, so there may be a 
dominant 7th in place of a diminished in some places.

Capo on 3rd fret

[Verse]
D      DM7                     D7
It's a god-awful small affair
       B7                       Em
To the girl with the mousy hair
       Em7                      A
But her mummy is yelling "No"
        A7                         D
And her daddy has told her to go
        DM7                        D7
But her friend is nowhere to be seen
        B7                             Em
Now she walks through her sunken dream
       Em7                         A
To the seat with the clearest view
          A7                          C
And she's hooked to the silver screen
        A7                       Dm
But the film is a saddening bore
          Eb                        Bb
For she's lived it ten times or more
          D7                        Gm
She could spit in the eyes of fools
        Bb7
As they ask her to focus on

[Chorus]
G       C
Sailors fighting in the dance hall
Em      Eb+                   D  Dm
Oh man! Look at those cavemen go
                   Am     Cm
It's the freakiest show
                   G
Take a look at the Lawman
C
Beating up the wrong guy
Em      Eb+                       D   Dm
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know
                           Am    Cm
He's in the best selling show
                 Em   Em7  A   A7
Is there life on Mars?

[Bridge]
D                B7                Em                Abdim7
Gbm              G                 Gm                

[Outro]
D                B7                Em                G
D                D                 C                 Cm
G