Em
Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman.
Em
From that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed.
A5 Ab5 G6
I'm    wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.
                                                   D5  D#5
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...


Em                                   D7
Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman.
G6                                Cmaj7
  From that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed.
      Am                                B7
I'm   wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.
Cmaj7                        D7                D#7
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...


            Em  (N.C.)                                   Am(add9) Am    
When you're in black slacks with accentuating, off-white, pin  -  stripes
Am(add9)  Am    C         B         B/A  B/G  Em
Whoa---------, everything goes according  to  plan.


Cmaj7               B7                   Em           D7
I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it.
            G6
Because you say so under your breath.
               B7add11 B7
To your reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"


Cmaj7           B7    Em           D7/F#
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
G6                      B7                 
Never looked better, and you can't stand it

B C 
B C B


Em
Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain, and
Am
I bet you just can't keep up with, (keep up) with these fashionistas, and
G6                              Am
  Tonight, tonight you are, you are a whispering campaign.
F#7add11                            B7                B
I bet to them your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like shit


Fm                     D7
Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears.
         G6  
And keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva!"
Am                        B7                     Cmaj7
  Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box on the table,
             D7     D#7     Am    B  Cmaj7     B
they just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin.


Cmaj7               B7                   Em           D7
I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it.
            G6
Because you say so under your breath.
               B7add11 B7
To your reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"


Cmaj7           B7    Em           D7/F#
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
G6                      B7                
  Never looked better, and you can't stand it


Interlude:
Em D7 G6 Cmaj7 
Am B7 Em (Em)
x2


Em             D7        G6          Cmaj7
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
     Am               B7        Em
I've never looked better, and you can't stand it


Em             D7        G6          Cmaj7
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
     Am               B7         Cmaj7      D7
I've never looked better, and you can't stand it


      Em                             D7                   G6                        Cmaj7
And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
          Am                B7                         Em
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course I'll be distracted when I spike the punch.


      Em                             D7                   G6                        Cmaj7
And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
          Am                B7                         Em
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course I'll be distracted when I spike the punch.


      Em                             D7                   G6                        Cmaj7
And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
          Am               B7                          Em                      D5  Em
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course I'll be distracted when I spike the punch.