Verse: 
----- 
(You know what Stuart, I like you...) 
G--------------------------------------------- 
D--3---------3-3------------------------------ 
A--------------------------------1----3------- 
E----------------------3---------------------- 

Pre-Chorus: 
---------- 
(But they're content to sit back...) 
G---------------------- 
D------------3--------- (x3) 
A--5----1-------------- 
E-----------------5---- 

(But they don't know, what the queers...) 
G--------------------------------------------------------------- 
D------------3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-2---------------------------- 
A--5----1----------------------------3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3---- 
E--------------------------------------------------------------- 

Chorus: 
------ 
("...my burrow owl"... I said "Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!...") 
G------------------------------------------------------- 
D------------------------5-6-6-6-6-6-5-----------5------ 
A--------------6-6-6-6-6---------------6-6-6-6-6-------- 
E--4-4-4-6-6-6------------------------------------------ 

("lives in a hole in the ground...") 
G----------------------------------------------------------------- 
D--6-6-6-6-6-5-----------5-6-6-6-6-6-5-----------5-8-8-8--etc.---- 
A--------------6-6-6-6-6---------------6-6-6-6-6------------------ 
E----------------------------------------------------------------- 

Outro: 
----- 
(The government says it's due to poor farming...) 
G------------------------ 
D-------------3-3-------- (x3) 
A---5-5--1-1------------- 
E-----------------5-5-5-- 

(for gay Martians. I swear to God...) 
G--------------------------------------------------------------- 
D--------------3---2---------------2---3---5---3---------------- 
A---5-5--1-1-----------5---3---5-------------------------------- 
E--------------------------------------------------------------- 
Let ring 
Not 100% sure about that little bit at the end, but it sounds pretty 
good to me.