INTRO: G D A7 D D G D Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are pickin' at your local saloon G D A7 They got a new song out on Polish Records, it'll be a Polish hit real soon D G D They picked every honky-tonk and bar from here to Timbuktu G D A7 D Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are bustin' their butts for you D G D Out where the cars are up on blocks and the houses are on wheels G D A7 Slim and a big time bookin' agent, they cooked up a hell of a deal D G D They'd pick every Wal-Mart parkin' lot across the USA G D A7 D If the Good Lord's willin' and the creek don't rise and they figure out how to get paid G (let ring) D No Chance was the only chance the Playboys ever had A7 No matter how they picked 'em , everything they played was bad D G D Then Slim come along and he played the songs that stick right in your head G D A7 D Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are really a-knockin' 'em dead SOLO D G D Esmeralda Muckinfuch was Slim's good timin' gal G D A7 She wasn't much to look at but Slim loved her anyhow D G D You couldn't beat her when she's sober, but you had to when she's drunk G D A7 D We all called her the Country Kitty, 'cause she smelled just like a what in the world was that? G (let ring) D Slim Chance could be anyone who hangs out in a bar A7 Or any local yokel who sings and plays guitar D G D All the boys and girls around the world now they know who they are G D A7 D Slim Chance is about the best chance that they got to be a star SPOKEN: D G D Yesterday I couldn't even spell star, and now I are one G D I say I ain't but a star I are A7 Do they not know who we think we are? I'm tellin' ya we're gonna get 500 a gig or we ain't playin! D I think we need some of them whores dejours G D And some of them carrots and other things people get in back of the stage G D We need some of them little sausages on toothpicks, maybe a dressing room (that'd be good) A7 D INTRO