INTRO: G5 D5 A5 D5 D5 G5 D5 Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are pickin' at your local saloon G5 D5 A5 They got a new song out on Polish Records, it'll be a Polish hit real soon D5 G5 D5 They picked every honky-tonk and bar from here to Timbuktu G5 D5 A5 D5 Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are bustin' their butts for you D5 G5 D5 Out where the cars are up on blocks and the houses are on wheels G5 D5 A5 Slim and a big time bookin' agent, they cooked up a hell of a deal D5 G5 D5 They'd pick every Wal-Mart parkin' lot across the USA G5 D5 A5 D5 If the Good Lord's willin' and the creek don't rise and they figure out how to get paid G5 (let ring) D5 No Chance was the only chance the Playboys ever had A5 No matter how they picked 'em , everything they played was bad D5 G5 D5 Then Slim come along and he played the songs that stick right in your head G5 D5 A5 D5 Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are really a-knockin' 'em dead SOLO D5 G5 D5 Esmeralda Muckinfuch was Slim's good timin' gal G5 D5 A5 She wasn't much to look at but Slim loved her anyhow D5 G5 D5 You couldn't beat her when she's sober, but you had to when she's drunk G5 D5 A5 D5 We all called her the Country Kitty, 'cause she smelled just like a what in the world was that? G5 (let ring) D5 Slim Chance could be anyone who hangs out in a bar A5 Or any local yokel who sings and plays guitar D5 G5 D5 All the boys and girls around the world now they know who they are G5 D5 A5 D5 Slim Chance is about the best chance that they got to be a star SPOKEN: D5 G5 D5 Yesterday I couldn't even spell star, and now I are one G5 D5 I say I ain't but a star I are A5 Do they not know who we think we are? I'm tellin' ya we're gonna get 500 a gig or we ain't playin! D5 I think we need some of them whores dejours G5 D5 And some of them carrots and other things people get in back of the stage G5 D5 We need some of them little sausages on toothpicks, maybe a dressing room (that'd be good) A5 D5 INTRO