Intro:

F5   F5   F5   F5  
F5   Bb5   F5   Bb5
F5   F#5   C#5    F5   
Bb5   C#5   F#5   F5   Bb5  

       Bb5  
[Mrs. VanDort]
It's a beautiful day.
       F5  
[Mr. VanDort]
It's a rather nice day.
  F5                  Bb5  
[Mrs. VanDort]
A day for a glorious wedding.
    F#5                      B5  
[Mr. VanDort]
A rehearsal, my dear, to be perfectly clear.
    Bb5           F5        Bb5  
[Mrs. VanDort]
A rehearsal for a glorious wedding.
  F#5             B5               F5         Bb5   
[Mr. VanDort]
Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know,
     Bb5      Eb5         F5              Bb5   
[Mrs. VanDort]
That nothing unexpected interferes with the show.
    Bb5        F5          Bb5        F#5   
[Mr. And Mrs. VanDort]
And that's why everything, every last little thing,
C#5           C5      C#5            C5       F5   F5  
every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...
  C#5         F#5   
[Mrs. VanDort]
According to plan,
    Ab5          C#5   
[Mr. VanDort]
Our son will be married.
  Bb5        F#5   
[Mrs. VanDort]
According to plan,
    Ab5     F#5   
[Mr. VanDort]
Our family carried,
         Ab5            C#5           F#5  B5 
[Mr. And Mrs. VanDort]
We'll go right into the heights of society...
       Ab5    C#5   
[Mrs. VanDort]
To the costume balls,
       Ab5     C#5   
[Mr. VanDort]
In the hallowed halls.
        Eb5           F5  
[Mrs. VanDort]
Rubbing elbows with the finest.
       E5              F5  
[Mr. VanDort]
Having crumpets with her highness.
         B5               E5            B5            C#5   
[Mr. And Mrs. VanDort]
We'll be there, we'll be seen, having tea with the queen.
         A5                           F#5            C#5  
We'll forget everything...that we've ever ever been.


C#5
B5   B5  
B5   E5  
C5   E5   
A5


       A5  
[Mrs. Everglot]
It's a terrible day
    E5  
[Mr. Everglot]
Now don't be that way
       A5       E5         A5  
[Mrs. Everglot]
It's a terrible day for a wedding.
       F5                     Bb5  
[Mr. Everglot]
It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in,
         A5          E5       A5  
[Mrs. Everglot]
That has led to this ominous wedding.
F5             Bb5        E5       A5   
[Mr. Everglot]
How could our family have come to this?
   F5             Bb5            E5       A5   
[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot]
To marry off our daughter to the noveaux rich.
           F5   
[Mrs. Everglot]
They're so common,
   C5   
[Mr. Everglot]
So coarse.
       F5           E5
[Mrs. Everglot]
Oh, it couldn't be worse!

[Mr. Everglot]
It couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree.
            D5
It could be land rich bankrupt aristocracy,
                         E5                F5   E5   
without a penny to their name...just like you...and me.

[Mrs. Everglot]
Oh, dear.
    A5         E5          A5         E5   
[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot]
And that's why everything, every last little thing,
C5            B5      C5             B5       E5    D(#13)    E5 (11 fr.)    E5    
every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...
  A5         F5   
[Mrs. Everglot]
According to plan,
    E5          A5   
[Mr. Everglot]
Our daughter will wed.
  A5         F5   
[Mrs. Everglot]
According to plan,
    G5      F5   
[Mr. Everglot]
Our family lead,
         G5       E5       F5    Bb5    Bb5   
[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot]
From the depths of deepest poverty,

Bb5    Bb5   

       G5     C5   
[Mrs. Everglot]
To the noble realm ,
       G5    C5   
[Mr. Everglot]
Of our ancestors.
    B5         E5           B5      E5             E5                  A5   
[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot]
And who'd have guessed in a million years that our daughter, with the face
      E5           A5   
[Mr. Everglot]
of an otter in disgrace,
         E5        F5             G5        F5   Bb5     
[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot]
Would provide our ticket to our rightful place?


F5   C#5   C#5


Bb5                          C#5  
[Victoria (speaking)]
What if Victor and I don't...like each other?
C5                          C5  
[Mrs. Everglot (speaking)]
Do you suppose your father and I like each other?
G5  
[Victoria (speaking)]
Surely you must...a little...
Ab5        C#5  
[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot (speaking)]
Of course not!
F5                 E5                         D5                 G5   G5      
[Mrs. Everglot (speaking)]
Get those corsets laced properly...I can hear you speak without gasping.
Bb5       A5     G5           D5   
Marriage is a partnership. A little tit for tat.
                      Bb5                     Ab5                   Eb5 
You'd think a lifetime watching us (singing) might have taught her that.


                      Ab5
Might have taught her that.

[Mr. Everglot]
Everything must be perfect

[Mrs. Everglot]
Everything must be perfect
                   Eb5  
[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot]
Everything must be perfect, perfect,
Ab5        Eb5         Ab5        Eb5   
[The VanDorts and the Everglots]
That's why everything, every last little thing,
B5            Bb5     B5             Bb5      Eb5     Eb5        Ab5
every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...According to plan!

Eb5   Ab5