Tom: A

A                 E
Why are we racing to be so old?
A                             E
I'm up late pacing the floor I won't be told
A                          E             D
You have your reservations I'm bought and sold
D
I'll face the music I'll face the facts
E
Even when we walk in polka dots and chequer slacks
A                    E
Bowing and squawking Running after titbits
A                     E7
Bobbing and squinting Just like a nitwit

Chorus:
D
Two little Hitlers will fight it out until
E                                      A
One little Hitler does the other one's will
  D       E            D           E
I will    return     I will    not burn
       E
Down in the basement
A                       E
I need my head examined I need my eyes excited
A                          E7
I'd like to join the party But I was not invited
A                       E7
You make a member of me I'll be delighted
D
I wouldn't cry for lost souls, you might drown
E
Dirty words for dirty minds Written in a toilet town
A                   E7
Dial me a Valentine She's a smooth operator
A                      E7
It's all so calculated She's got a calculator
A                              E7
She's my soft touch typewriter And I'm the great dictator

**Chorus
                      A
A simple game of self-respect
E                          A
You flick a switch and the world goes off
E                     A
Nobody jumps as you expect
E                                   F#m           E
I would have thought you would have had enough by now
A                         E7
You call selective dating For some effective mating
A                                E7
I thought I'd let you down, dear But you were just deflating
A                           E7
I knew right from the start We'd end up hating
D 
Pictures of the merchandise Plastered on the wall
E
We can look so long as we don't have to talk at all
A                             E7
You say you'll never know him He's an unnatural man
A                             A
He doesn't want your pleasure He wants as no one can
A                             E7
He wants to know the names of All those he's better than

**Chorus
  D      E
I will return
  D        E
I will not burn  . . . . .