CAPO: 4 G5 D5 Y'all act like you never seen a white person before E5 C5 Jaws all on the floor like Pam , like Tommy just burst in the door G5 D5 and started whoopin her ass worse than before E5 C5 they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!) G5 D5 It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, E5 C5 he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" G5 D5 And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots! E5 C5 Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!) G5 D5 Feminist women love Eminem E5 chigga chigga chigga C5 "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at him , G5 D5 Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what E5 C5 Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!" G5 D5 Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose E5 C5 But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms G5 D5 E5 Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't C5 but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose G5 D5 "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips" E5 C5 And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss G5 D5 And that's the message that we deliver to little kids E5 C5 And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is G5 D5 Of course they gonna know what intercourse is E5 By the time they hit fourth grade C5 They got the Discovery Channel don't they? G5 D5 E5 "We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals C5 who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP] G5 D5 But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes E5 C5 then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope G5 D5 [*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote E5 C5 Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes [Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)] G5 D5 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady E5 C5 All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating G5 D5 So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, E5 C5 please stand up, please stand up? G5 D5 Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records; E5 C5 well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too! G5 D5 You think I give a damn about a Grammy? E5 C5 Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me G5 D5 "But Slim , what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" E5 C5 Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here? G5 D5 So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears? E5 C5 Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs G5 D5 so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst E5 C5 and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first G5 D5 You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV E5 C5 "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim , hee-hee!" G5 D5 I should download her audio on MP3 E5 C5 and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!] G5 D5 E5 I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me C5 so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt] G5 D5 And there's a million of us just like me E5 C5 who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me G5 D5 who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me E5 C5 and just might be the next best thing but not quite me! [Chorus] G5 D5 I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you E5 C5 things you joke about with your friends inside your living room G5 D5 The only difference is I got the balls to say it E5 C5 in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all G5 D5 I just get on the mic and spit it E5 C5 and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it G5 D5 better than ninety percent of you rappers out can E5 C5 Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums G5 D5 It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty E5 C5 I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting G5 D5 Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens E5 C5 And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working G5 D5 And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin E5 C5 He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings G5 D5 [*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling E5 Screaming "I don't give a fuck!" C5 with his windows down and his system up G5 D5 So, will the real Shady please stand up? E5 C5 And put one of those fingers on each hand up? G5 D5 And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control E5 C5 and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? [Chorus 4X] Ha ha Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us Fuck it, let's all stand up