Verse 1 D5 G5 Kenesaw Mountain Landis was a bad mother fucker D5 E5 A5 He was seventeen feet tall, he had a hundred and fifty wives D5 G5 He didn't do that much except he saved the game of baseball D5 G5 D5 A5 He put two and two together and he noticed it was four D5 G5 D5 A5 Now the treachery of Shoeless Joe can't hurt us anymore D5 G5 A5 D5 A(break) And he'll always be remembered as Kenesaw Mountain Landis Verse 2 D5 G5 Fellow named Joe Jackson was a fielder for the Black Sox D5 E5 A5 And he always wore his black socks, but he never wore no shoes D5 G5 He weren't the nicest fellow and he had a couple problems D5 G5 D5 A5 Cause he drank a lot and he beat his wife and he always acted rude D5 G5 D5 A5 He killed and ate some babies and he copped an attitude D5 G5 A5 D5 A(break) And the one man that he hated most was Kenesaw Mountain Landis Bridge 1 B5 Mafia said Shoeless Joe F#5 You should really run this show D5 You should be the guy who owns baseball B5 And all you really gotta do F#5 Is help us make a buck or two D5 G5 A5 We'll bet on the other team D5 G5 A5 You'll lose the game but make it seem D5 G5 A5 Like nothing could be further from the truth Verse 3 D5 G5 Shoeless Joe did what they said he dropped a couple fly balls D5 E5 A5 And he walked up to the pitcher and he poked him in the eye D5 G5 And in the seventh inning with the Black Sox nearly beaten D5 G5 D5 A5 There was someone who was watching from his blimp above the stands D5 G5 D5 A5 Cradling a rifle in his thick and meaty hands D5 G5 A5 D5 A(break) And as if you hadn't guessed yet it was Kenesaw Mountain Landis Bridge 2 B5 Kenesaw said drop that glove F#5 Or I swear by God above D5 I'll make you regret playing baseball B5 Shoeless Joe looked up and saw F#5 The silver rifle's gaping maw D5 G5 A5 Though no one had noticed yet D5 G5 A5 His underwear was getting wet D5 G5 A5 He peed himself in front of everyone Slow Verse D5 G5 Shoeless Joe was finished but he couldn't quite admit it D5 E5 A5 So he raised his middle finger up above the other four D5 G5 Kenesaw took careful aim and fired a single bullet D5 G5 D5 A5 And he shot that dirty finger off and he dropped his trusty gun D5 G5 D5 A5 And everybody in the stands knew that he had won D5 G5 A5 D5 And today they still refer to him as Kenesaw Mountain Landis Final Verse D5 G5 Shoeless Joe left baseball and became a famous pop star D5 E5 A5 D5 And he asked the musical question is she really going out with him G5 He had a couple albums and a comeback in the 80's D5 G5 D5 A5 But he never won a Grammy and he never was the same D5 G5 D5 A5 And he never could be satisfied with critical acclaim D5 G5 A5 D5 A5 Cause the critics all confused him with the great Elvis Costello D5 G5 A5 D5 Yes the critics all confused him with the great Elvis Costello