NOTE: * at the start of a line indicates the caller's voice @ at the start of a line indicates the operator's voice # at the start of a line indicates the Telecom worker's voice $ at the start of a line indicates the receptionist's voice A5 * Hello operator, I'd like to make a call. A5 E5 * Can I have four double seven three one zero four? A5 D5 @ I'm sorry, sir, could you repeat that number once again? E5 A5 * Four double seven three one zero four, did ya get it then? A5 @ Could you speak a little slower - four double seven's all I got. A5 E5 * Three one zero four, are you bloody deaf or what? A5 D5 @ Look, I got the third bit, I just can't get the last. E5 A5 * Well stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse! D5 A5 * Stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse, B5 E5 * You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard, D5 A5 * I only want to make a call but you're just bein' smart, A5 E5 * So you can stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse! # Good morning I'm from Telecom come to disconnect the phone, # For a breach of regulations just a couple of days ago. # You upset our operator with a pretty nasty call. * What are you fuckin' on about - it was all her fuckin' fault. # Well she claims that it was all your fault, she really was distressed. * What about your customers - she upset me first. # We've got her written statement, which shortly will be read. # But it might help if you'd recall exactly what you said. * I said stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse, * You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard, * I just tried to make a call but you just acted smart, * So I said stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse! # Well that's not exactly on sir, no it's just not on at all. # You must use proper ettiquite if you wish to make a call. # And please and thank you also help - you can't talk to her like that. * Please and bloody thank you, well you fuckin' tell her that! * And she knows without a telephone I'm really in the shit. # Well perhaps if you'd apoligise that just might help a bit. * Apoligise - apoligise - apoligise to who? # Just go in and ask for Operator 42. Now the song changes key - A=G5 B=A5 D=C5 E=D5 $ Good morning are you waiting is there something I can do? * Yes I'd like to speak to Operator 42. $ Sorry, sir, I missed that, could you repeat what you just said? * OH SHIT I DON'T BELIEVE IT HERE WE FUCKIN' GO AGAIN! * Operator 42 - look I'll just write it down! $ Ooh, Operator 42 - I'll see if she's around. * Jeez, they're bloody useless, I'm sure that they're all deaf, * No wonder that I did me quince, no wonder that I said: * Stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse, * You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard, * I just want to make a call but you're just bein' smart, * So stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse! Now the song goes back to A * Now they'll make me sit around and wait all bloody day, * Just so they can make me sweat and have the final say. * That's like the public service - they make you scrape & bow, * Oh, shit she's fuckin' ugly if that's her coming now! @ I'm Operator 42 - I'm busy, make it fast. * Did a bloke tell you to stick that fuckin' phone right up your arse? @ Yes he did, the filthy animal, I remember now. * Well you'r better fuckin' brace yourself cause they're bringin' it around! * And you can stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse, * You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard, * I just tried to make a call but you just acted smart, * So you can stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse! * Stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse, * You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard, * I just tried to make a call but you just acted smart, * So you can stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse!