G C9 (x4) INTRO G C9 Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk, G C9 At a christmas party G Em C D We were drinkin' champagne punch and homemade eggnog. G C9 Little sister brought her new boyfriend, G C9 He was a Mexican. G Em We didn't know what to think of him , C D G C9 G C9 'Til he sang Feliz Navi Da, Feliz Navi Da. G C9 Brother Ken brought his kids with him. G C9 The three from his first wife Lynn, G G/F# Em C D And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary-Nell. G C9 Of course, he brought his new wife Kaye, G C9 Who talks all about AA. G G/F# Em C D Chain smokin' while the stereo plays Noel, Noel. G C9 G C9 The First Noel. D Carve the turkey, turn the ball game on, C Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone. D Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store, C We need some ice and an extension cord. D A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite, C A box of Pampers, some Marlboro Lights. G G/F# Em Hallelujah, everybody say cheese C D G C9 G C9 Merry Christmas from the family. G C9 Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen, G C9 I can't remember how I'm kin to them. G G/F# Em But when they tried to plug their motorhome in, C D They blew our christmas lights. G C9 Cousin David knew just what went wrong, G C9 So we all waited out on our front lawn. G G/F# Em He threw the breaker and the lights came on, C D G C9 And we sang Silent Night, Silent Night. G C9 Oh, Holy Night. D Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on, C Make Bloody Marys cause we all want one. D Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go, C We need some celery and a can of fake snow. D A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite, C A box of Midol, some Salem Lights G G/F# Em Hallelujah, everybody say cheese. C D G C9 G C9 Merry Christmas from the family G6 Feliz Navi Da.