D5 G5 Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis A5 D5 D5 Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong D5 It's swell to have a stiffy G5 G5 E5 It's divine to own a dick A5 From the tiniest little tadger D5 A5 D5 To the world's biggest prick -- D5 G5 So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas A5 D5 A5 D5 Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake D5 Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend G5 G5 E5 Your Percy or your cock A5 You can wrap it up in ribbons D5 A5 D5 You can slip it in your sock C5 C#?7 But don't take it out in public G5 B5 E5 Or they will stick you in the dock A5 D5 G5 D5 G5 And you won't come back