Standard Tuning EADGBe Chord Diagrams G-III B5 C-III D-V e | --3-- e | --2-- e | --3-- e | --5-- B | --3-- B | --3-- B | --5-- B | --7-- G | --4-- G | --4-- G | --5-- G | --7-- D | --5-- D | --4-- D | --5-- D | --7-- A | --5-- A | --2-- A | --3-- A | --5-- E | --3-- E | ----- E | ----- E | ----- G5 E5 A5 D5 e | --3-- e | --0-- e | --0-- e | --2-- B | --3-- B | --0-- B | --1-- B | --3-- G | --0-- G | --0-- G | --2-- G | --2-- D | --0-- D | --2-- D | --2-- D | --0-- A | --2-- A | --2-- A | --0-- A | ----- E | --3-- E | --0-- E | ----- E | ----- G-III B5 C-III D-V G-III You pull out your photos of B5 Your wedding in the Spring C-III And you're confronted by your double chin D-V And your bald spot glistening G-III You could get a membership B5 At the fitness hut down the road, C-III Or you could pick your mouse up and slim yourself down D-V And even give yourself a 'fro. G-III Your high school reunion B5 Is coming next Friday C-III And you know everyone will ask to see some D-V Pictures of the babies that you've made. G-III But the problem is your kid's head is big. B5 I mean, we're talking "Alien" size here. C-III Well, just cut and paste a hat, or at least a doo rag D-V And it won't seem so severe. ( D-V) G5 E5 Photoshop your memories. A5 A picture's worth a thousand words, D5 So a few white lies shouldn't hurt. G-III Your birthday, this past Monday, B5 Was a fun day, except for one thing: C-III Your mother-in-law, who makes your skin crawl, D-V Stuck her face in every frame. G-III You'd prefer to remember B5 That day without her tattooed brows. C-III The simplest solution: decrease the resolution D-V And crop that woman out. ( D-V) G5 E5 Photoshop your memories. A5 Your real life may be sub-par, D5 But you can be who you want people to think you are. ( D5 ) G-III Make yourself thin. B5 Give yourself abs. C-III Remove that mole. D-V Say "No" to crack. ( D-V) G-III Say you went to the Alps B5 In a luxury car C-III With a Swedish Model. D-V Just be who you want people to think you are. ( D-V) G5 E5 Photoshop your memories. A5 A picture's worth a thousand words D5 G5 So a few white lies shouldn't hurt.