Tabbed by: Chicken Dumplings (chckndmplngs) Tuning: Standard Am(9)=EADGBe x02200 Am(9) Welcome M'sier, sit yourself down Am(9) E7 And meet the best innkeeper in town E7 As for the rest, all of them crooks E7 Am(9) Rooking the guests and cooking the books Dm Seldom do you see Am(9) Honest men like me B7 A gent of good intent E F#m E7 Who's content to be A Master of the House, doling out the charm A Ready with a handshake and an open palm A Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir A B7 Customers appreciate a bon viveur! E Glad to do my friends a favor, doesn't cost me to be nice E A But nothing gets you nothing, ev'rything has got a little price A Master of the House, keeper of the zoo A Ready to relieve them of a sou or two A Watering the wine, making up the weight A B7 Picking up their knick-knacks when they can't see strainght E C# F#m Everybody loves a landlord, everybody's bosom friend D E7 A I do whatever pleases Jesus, don't I bleed them in the end! A Master of the House, quick to catch your eye A Never wants a passer by to pass him by A Servant to the poor, butler to the great A B7 Comforter, philosopher and lifelong mate E Ev'rybody's boon companion C#/E# F#m Ev'rybody's chaperone D E7 A Am(9) But lock up your valises Jesus, won't I skin you to the bone! Am(9) Enter M'sieur, lay down your load Am(9) E7 Unlace yer boots and rest from the road E7 This weighs a ton, travel's a curse E7 Am(9) But here we strive to lighten your purse Dm Here the goose is cooked Am(9) Here the fat is friend B7 E F#m E7 And nothing's overlooked till I'm sa-tis-fied A Food beyond compare, food beyond belief A Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef A Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat A B7 Filling up the sausages with this and that E Residents are more than welcome, bridal suite is occupied E A Reasonable charges plus some little extra on the side A Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice A Two percent for looking in the mirror twice A Here a little slice, there a little cut A B7 Three percent for sleeping with the window shut E C# When it comes to fixing prices, there are lots of tricks he knows D How it all increases, all them bits and pieces E7 A Jesus, it's amazing how it grows! A Master of the House, quick to catch your eye A Never wants a passer by to pass him by A Servant to the poor, butler to the great A B7 Comforter, philosopher and lifelong mate E Ev'rybody's boon companion C#/E# F#m Give em everything I've got D E7 A Em Dirty bunch of geezers Jesus, what a sorry little lot! Em I used to dream that I would meet a prince. Am6 B But, God Almighty have you seen what's happened since? E Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit! E Comforter philosopher and lifelong shit! E Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire. E F#7 Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there! B Ab C#m What a cruel trick of nature, landed me with such a louse. A B E God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house! A Master of the house, master and a half, A comforter, philosopher. Don't make me laugh! A Servant to the poor, butler to the great A B7 Hypocrite and toady and inebriate! E Ev'rybody bless our landlord, C# C#/E# F#m Ev'rybody bless his spouse. D E7 Ev'rybody raise a glass D E7 Raise it up the master's ass! D E7 A D Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house A D A D A/E E A