Tabbed by: Chicken Dumplings (chckndmplngs) Tuning: Standard Am(9)=EADGBe x02200 Am(9) Welcome M'sier, sit yourself down Am(9) E5 And meet the best innkeeper in town E5 As for the rest, all of them crooks E5 Am(9) Rooking the guests and cooking the books D5 Seldom do you see Am(9) Honest men like me B5 A gent of good intent E5 F#5 E5 Who's content to be A5 Master of the House, doling out the charm A5 Ready with a handshake and an open palm A5 Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir A5 B5 Customers appreciate a bon viveur! E5 Glad to do my friends a favor, doesn't cost me to be nice E5 A5 But nothing gets you nothing, ev'rything has got a little price A5 Master of the House, keeper of the zoo A5 Ready to relieve them of a sou or two A5 Watering the wine, making up the weight A5 B5 Picking up their knick-knacks when they can't see strainght E5 C#5 F#5 Everybody loves a landlord, everybody's bosom friend D5 E5 A5 I do whatever pleases Jesus, don't I bleed them in the end! A5 Master of the House, quick to catch your eye A5 Never wants a passer by to pass him by A5 Servant to the poor, butler to the great A5 B5 Comforter, philosopher and lifelong mate E5 Ev'rybody's boon companion C# F#5 Ev'rybody's chaperone D5 E5 A5 Am(9) But lock up your valises Jesus, won't I skin you to the bone! Am(9) Enter M'sieur, lay down your load Am(9) E5 Unlace yer boots and rest from the road E5 This weighs a ton, travel's a curse E5 Am(9) But here we strive to lighten your purse D5 Here the goose is cooked Am(9) Here the fat is friend B5 E5 F#5 E5 And nothing's overlooked till I'm sa-tis-fied A5 Food beyond compare, food beyond belief A5 Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef A5 Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat A5 B5 Filling up the sausages with this and that E5 Residents are more than welcome, bridal suite is occupied E5 A5 Reasonable charges plus some little extra on the side A5 Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice A5 Two percent for looking in the mirror twice A5 Here a little slice, there a little cut A5 B5 Three percent for sleeping with the window shut E5 C#5 When it comes to fixing prices, there are lots of tricks he knows D5 How it all increases, all them bits and pieces E5 A5 Jesus, it's amazing how it grows! A5 Master of the House, quick to catch your eye A5 Never wants a passer by to pass him by A5 Servant to the poor, butler to the great A5 B5 Comforter, philosopher and lifelong mate E5 Ev'rybody's boon companion C# F#5 Give em everything I've got D5 E5 A5 E5 Dirty bunch of geezers Jesus, what a sorry little lot! E5 I used to dream that I would meet a prince. A5 B5 But, God Almighty have you seen what's happened since? E5 Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit! E5 Comforter philosopher and lifelong shit! E5 Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire. E5 F#5 Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there! B5 Ab5 C#5 What a cruel trick of nature, landed me with such a louse. A5 B5 E5 God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house! A5 Master of the house, master and a half, A5 comforter, philosopher. Don't make me laugh! A5 Servant to the poor, butler to the great A5 B5 Hypocrite and toady and inebriate! E5 Ev'rybody bless our landlord, C#5 C# F#5 Ev'rybody bless his spouse. D5 E5 Ev'rybody raise a glass D5 E5 Raise it up the master's ass! D5 E5 A5 D5 Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house A5 D5 A5 D5 A5 E5 A5