G5 C5 D5 Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end G5 C5 D5 The dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend E5 D5 C5 G5 And where'de you get those shoes i think there pretty lame E5 D5 C5 G5 would you stop talking 'cause im trying to watch the game (chorus) E5 G5 If your a man who wants to live E5 G5 a long and happy life E5 D5 G5 these are the things you don't say to your wife. G5 C5 D5 I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday G5 C5 D5 I didn't ask you but i knew i'de be ok E5 D5 C5 G5 Go make some dinner while i watch this fishing show E5 D5 C5 G5 I taped it over our old wedding video (chorus) G5 C5 D5 Your cooking is ok but not like mother makes G5 C5 D5 The diamond in the ring i bought you is a fake E5 D5 C5 G5 Your eyes look puffy dear, are you feeling ill E5 D5 C5 G5 Happy aniversary i bought you a treadmill (chorus) E5 G5 E5 G5 If you a man who doesn't want to get killed with a knife, E5 D5 G5 These are the things you don't say to your wife.