G5                          Bb5            C5                  F5
My girlfriend don?t love me no more

G5                Bb5        C5               F5
Im trying my best but she wants more

              Bb5                                          C5
She says, why can?t you be like that guy on TV,

          Bb5                               F(stop)
Who calls himself naked but wears a skivvy.

G5                        Bb5                 C5            F5
I decided to make her some food,

G5                          Bb5         C5                  F5
So I stood at the stove in the nude

                    Bb5                             C5
But then I found out, why hes not tackle out

                   Bb5                             C5
Why hes not in the buff, while hes cooking his stuff

F (let it ring)
I discovered a whole new meaning to FAT FIRE!

 G5                 C5                      D5
Im trying so hard to impress her

          G5                    C5             D5
But in the kitchen im making a mess-a

       G5           F5       E5
My pastas a huge disaster

   G5                F5             E5
Shes not in a hurry to eat my curry,

            D (let it ring)
And my soup spelt backwards is poos?

 C5                      G5
Ive got a new recipe


    A5
And maybe if he uses it she?ll love me

G5           C5        F5
Oh postie, please deliver,

G5               C5          F5
My sandwich to Jamie Oliver

     G5                            F5              E5
It would be the best gift I could give her

D (let it ring)                         G
If my sultana sandwich made it on the naked chef

G5 Bb5 C5 F5 (play this twice)

           G5       Bb5           C5          F5
I can just see him now on his show

     G5              Bb5               C5                F5
Between washing his car and riding his moped

          Bb5                   C5
In his beautiful flat, and his trendy speech impediment

      D (let it ring)
Does he ever have time to cook?

G5          Bb5            C5                  F5

(mocking Jamie?s voice)
Well what weve got now is recipe sent in from merrick, yeah merrick yeah.
It?s a sultana sandwich, ya know, it?s a bit wierd, bit like me, im a bit weird
Im a bit out on the edge, bit cool, ya know,
Im young old people don?t really get me ya know cos im fantastic. Yeah im bloody great.


G5           C5        F5
Oh postie, please deliver,

G5               C5          F5
My sandwich to Jamie Oliver

     G5                            F5              E5
It would be the best gift I could give her

D (let it ring)                         G
If my sultana sandwich made it on the naked chef

   F (let it ring)
Girls get Jamie Oliver,

      G (keep on quickly strumming) and?.stop. hahaha
And we get two fat ladies

With the improve bit im not quite sure what they say, Merrick or America or sumthing. 
it out yourselves. If u need help pm me.