A                                 D
You said you'd find me helpless on the A47
A                               E
Shouting at the passers-by that Alan Brazil
A                             D
Seems to be the singer in the Goombay Dance Band
    A               E7            A
And now you want to put me in the ambulance
                    E7        A            D D A A G# G# A A
But I don't want to go in the ambulance.
A                            D
I asked if you would like to go along to
A                    E
See the Rocky Horror Picture Show
A                           D
You said you'd love to so I murdered your family
       A        E7           A
'Cos I hate the Rocky Horror Picture Show
                  E7              A                  A E A E7
Besides I'm going browsing 'round hardware shops.
       A                             D
You'll find me dying casually on the fourteenth fairway
A                        D         
Trying in vain to wave a fore-ball through
A                             D
I'll understand if you should walk straight past me
 A               E7                 A
Ideally though I hope you'd call an ambulance,

Unless of course you're
B                     E
Sampling Alessi in St Neots
   B                                 E
Or chasing Bunty James 'round Hilton Park
B                 E
Oh, oh Lori in St Neots
B                               E
Is this me or is this dead-shot Keen?
B              E
Hello, this is Joanie
     B                                  E
This plectrum once belonged to you know who
B                             E
Grocer Jack, Grocer Jack, get off your back
                      A  E
Go in to town.....