This is a correction of phoenix1984's upload
Capo wherever's comfortable for your voice - it's in different places in every 
recording I've heard.

     C                                G               C
Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight
    F                 C         G
For at the time of writing it, I'm not a pretty sight
    F           C                  F               Am
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey
        C                              G            C
And I write this note to say why I am not at work today

        C                                    G               C
While working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear
      F                     C             G
But tossing them down from such a height was not a good idea
       F            C               F             Am
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod 
         C                                G            C
And he said I had to cart them down the ladders in me hod

        C                                   G           C
Well clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow
         F          C          G
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below
    F               C             F               Am
But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
         C                                  G          C
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me

     C                              G               C
And so when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
       F             C                 G
And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead
     F            C             F            Am
I shot up like a rocket, and to my dismay I found
       C                           G            C
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down

           C                          G                 C
Well the barrel broke me shoulder, as to the ground it sped
     F                 C                  G
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
       F                 C                   F             Am
But I clung on tightly numb with shock from this almighty blow
            C                                         G              C
While the barrel spilled out half its bricks some fourteen floors below

C                                       G             C
When these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor 
    F                   C              G                    
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
        F                  C           F                Am 
But I clung on tightly to the rope me body racked with pain 
      C                            G           C
And halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again

          C                               G                C
Now the force of this collision halfway down the office block
  F                C               G
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty case of shock
        F                  C             F                  Am
But I clung on tightly to the rope as I fell towards the ground
        C                               G                    C
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round.

    C                                 G                    C
Now as I lay there on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
          F              C                G
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
    F                       C           F             Am
A shower of bricks rained down on me I didn't have a hope
      C                                     G                    C
As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go of the bloody rope

      C                            G               C
The barrel now being heavier so started down once more
     F             C            G
It landed right across me as I lay there on the floor
    F                    C              F           Am
It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
   C                               G           C
I hope you`ll understand why I am not at work today