Intro:
G#, C#
Fm, C#

 G#                            C#        
Such was the expression of the child
                        Fm
As he bounced across my windscreen
                  C#
And off the other side.

       G#  
That I got the strong impression
      C#                            Fm
For a second that he wasn't so much angry
                 C#
As incredibly surprised.

     C#                                  D#
As I watched him in my rear view mirror slowly slip away,
  C#                            D#
I turned to my instructor and I felt I had to say,
       G#                C            C#
Do you think we should reschedule the test?
           G#              C                 C#
'Cause I'm starting now to think it might be best.

       Fm 
Either way, I'm pretty sure
               C#
You could have taught me clutch control
     D#                               G#
In a playground that was emptier than this.

G#, C#
Fm, C#

  G#                            C#
Such was the blind panic of the boy scouts
                     Fm
As I backed into the duck pond
                     C#
In the middle of the green.

        G#
That it became a little clearer
        C#                                Fm
Why the mirror said that objects featured in it
                          C#
Might be closer than they seem.

     C#                                      D#
As I watched the displaced goldfish flapping vainly on the grass
   C#                           D#
I smiled at the policeman and I felt I had to ask,
        G#          C            C#
Would a fifty maybe make this go away?
         G#                C               C#
'Cause I really don't have time for this today.

              Fm
Besides which how am I supposed to learn to drive
         C#
When everywhere I turn there's
        D#                                G#
Five or six small children getting in the way.

Fm
                    C#   
I would later learn that was the moment
    A#                           Fm
The SWAT team was mobilised
             C# 
And that the car chase that followed
    A#                      Fm
Was globally televised.

In fact I'm told that they
 C#                       A#                  Fm
Still use the footage for police training video
                C#      
And though I've not seen it personally
     A#                            G#
I've learned that it basically shows

(From here to the end just repeat the intro pattern G#, C#, Fm, C#)

                     C#                         Fm
Me and my instructor tearing down the autobahn
                  C#                          G#
Doing ninety in a Mazda with the handbrake on
                             C#                        Fm
Ploughing recklessly through traffic, cones and trees.
                   C#               G#
I am Thelma to his terrified Louise

                             C#                   Fm
And all the while I got him screaming in my head
                                  C#                 G#      
That I should probably change up out of second gear,
                          C#                     Fm
Check my mirrors, keep my hands at two and ten
                                C#                G#
And maybe give some thought to turning myself in.


But in spite of everything,
   C#                    Fm
We made it to the border
                                   C#
Though the last two miles was in reverse
                        G#
Up the hard shoulder.


That old car was dead,
    C#                     Fm
But somehow we'd survived.

We climbed out of the wreck
    C#                    G#
And solemnly high-fived.

So that's how me and my instructor
Moved to Switzerland.
Opened up a little cafe
In the hinterland.

And though I never got my licence, in the end,
I found something so much better
A brand new, bestest friend.