D           G               A                D 
Well, I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago 
    G            D              G          A 
And ever since I lead a life of misery and woe 
   G             D       G                  A 
My wife she is a tyrant around the room and in 
          D              G           A               D 
Ah, she'd sell me to the devil for a galss or two of Gin. (Alan's part)  

Sure I'll get up and go to work as mild as any man 

And she'll get up and dress herself and go and have her dram 

And if I chance to say a word, it's well I know my doom 

She'll follow me with the fire shovel up and down the room  


    G              D            G                 D 
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain 
  G                 D               A 
I swear to God I'll hang me self If I get married again 
    G              D            G                 D 
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain 
      G                 D               A              D 
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang me self if I get married again  

When I get home at breakfast time she'll tap me on the head 
When I come home at dinner time I'll find her drunk in bed 
When I come home at supper time my patients I must stop 
'Cause she drank what's in the teapot and I must drink the slops (Darrell's part)  

And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain 
I swear to God I'll hang me self If I get married again 
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain 
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang me self if I get married again  

Well, once I asked me scolding wife if I could go to bed 
She scarce gave me an hour on the pillow to lay me head 
When like a roarin' lion she came bustin' down the door 
She caught me by the middle and threw me naked on the floor (S?an's part)  

And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain 
I swear to God I'll hang me self If I get married again 
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain 
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang me self if I get married again  

Now, me and my companions go to a public place 
She'll search around the neighbourhood until she finds my face 
She'll hoist me up and ridicule me for the company 
Saying, "Petticoat is you master, and forevermore shall be." (All)  

And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain 
I swear to God I'll hang me self If I get married again 
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain 
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang me self if I get married again  

(Chorus 4 times, last 2 without music)