G5 
Wow, somebody done been to the WalMart 

Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas. 

Well you cleaned up! Whadya git 
(stop)       D5 
Five flannel shirts 
G5 
Four big mud tires 
C5 
Three shotgun shells 
D5 
Two hunting dogs 
         G5                  C5 G5 
And some parts to a Mustang GT. 
 

G5 
Hey Bubba you got gypped there's 12 days to Christmas 

I know that, I got it covered Look over in the corner 

That's yours too 

Yea. 
 
Chorus: 
D5 
Twelve-pack of Bud 

Eleven Wrastlin' tickets 

Ten o' Copenhagen 

Nine years probation 

Eight table dancers 

Seven packs of Redman 

Six cans of Spam 
G5            D5 
Five flannel shirts 
G5 
Four big mud tires 
C5 
Three shotgun shells 
D5 
Two hunting dogs 
         G5          D5       A5 G5 
And some parts to a Mustang GT. 
 

E5 
Man this ain't normal Christmas presents 

No they're redneck gifts 

Redneck gifts 

Yea you know like  

If you buy your wife earrings that doubled as fishing lures 

Or, if you can burp the entire chorus of Jingle Bells 

Perhaps if you think The Nutcracker is something you did off a high- 

dive 

Or if you've ever misspelled something in Christmas lights 

Or if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus 

What's wrong with that 

I didn't say anything wrong with it 

It's hard to beat. 

Chorus: 
G5 
Well you know you can't really consider it a Christmas  
Less you go down to the penitentiary and visit your mama 
You're not listenin' to me  
Get the car key outta your ear 
That's where the nine years probation comes in 
I'm gonna do it for ya again  
Now listen. 
 
Chorus: 
 
Are you cryin' 
No, just my alergies 
Happy Holidays everybody.