Capo 4 
 
G5                        C5            G5 
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my feet are too long 
G5                            A5             D5 
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong 
G5                                    C5             G5 
My friends they all tell me, they're no friends at all 
           G5                           D5         G5 
Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call 
C5  | --D5     G5 
Signed Bewildered 
 
Bewildered, Bewildered you have no complaint 
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't 
So listen up buster listen up good 
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood 
 
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks 
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks 
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed 
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead 
Signed Unhappy 
 
Unhappy, Unhappy, you have no complaint ... 
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't 
So listen up buster listen up good 
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood 
 
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this 
But my stomache makes noises whenever I kiss 
My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head 
But my stomache tells me to write you instead 
Signed Noisemaker. 
 
Noisemaker, Noisemaker, you have no complaint ... 
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't 
So listen up buster listen up good 
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood 
 
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, well I never thought 
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught 
We were sittin' in the back seat just shootin' the breeze 
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees 
Signed Just Married 
 
Just Married, Just Married, you have no complaint ... 
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't 
So listen up buster listen up good 
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood