DEAR ABBY by John Prine C F C Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my feet are too long C D G My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong C F C My friends they all tell me, they're no friends at all C F C Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call G F C Signed Bewildered CHORUS: C F C Bewildered, Bewildered you have no complaint C D G You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't C F C So listen up buster listen up good C F C Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood G F C SIGNED Dear Abby C F C Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks C D G My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks C F C Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed C F C If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead G F C Signed Unhappy CHORUS: (unhappy) C F C Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this C D G But my stomache makes noises whenever I kiss C F C My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head C F C But my stomache tells me to write you instead G F C Signed Noisemaker. CHORUS: (noisemaker) C F C Dear Abby, Dear Abby, well I never thought C D G That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught C F C We were sittin' in the back seat just shootin' the breeze C F C With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees G F C Signed Just Married CHORUS: (just Married) END