e: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 19:23:27 -0500 (EST)
From: NerfWeezer 
Subject: TAB: 'Nerf Herder Album' by 'Nerf Herder'

Artist: Nerf Herder
Album: Nerf Herder
Transcribed: Mike Keating - NerfWeezer@aol.com

hey enjoy these transcriptions of all the songs on nerf herders
first album. remember to keep in mind parry uses heavy distortion
on nearly the whole kick ass album.  if you have any corrections
or comments be sure to mail me (except of course punctuation
and caps).  thanks!!!



~ = let ring
* = staccato (short, sharp note)
^ = play one octave up
h = hammer on
p = pull off
/ = slide up
\ = slide down
(M) = muted until (N)


note: all chords are played as power chords! (5ths)


tuning:  all standard!!!

1.  DOWN ON HALEY
2.  GOLFSHIRT
3.  SORRY
4.  EASY MARK
5.  VAN HALEN
6.  DIANA
7.  NOSERING GIRL
8.  YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE WHOSE SORRY
10. I ONLY EAT CANDY



__________________________________________________________________
1.  DOWN ON HALEY


(note: verse and bridge chords are muted except when: ___(N)___ )


(intro)

A D A E A D A

A D C# B (2X)


(verse 1)
 A	         D	E
down on haley  haley street
 A                                D       E
where the drugs are easy and the sex is cheap
				        ___(N)____
 A                   D	       E        A   D C# B
you never know just who youll meet on haley
 A	       D           E
crack dealer looks at his door
 A                  D             E
winks his eye and waits for his whore     ___(N)____
 A                      D        E        A   D C# B
she dont want to turn tricks anymore on haley


(chorus)
 D                           B
you dont have to walk the straight and narrow
    A                               E
as long as you drive up in a camaro-o


A D C# B (2X)


(verse 2)
 A                 D             E
tattoo parlor why dont you hang out
 A                    D        E
let em show you what its all about
					___(N)____
 A                    D         E       A   D C# B
were gonna help you work it on out on haley
 A                          D         E
dont need no licence dont need no subpeona
 A                    D            E
you can hook up with your friend regina
				       ___(N)____
 A                 D          E        A   D C# B
makin fun if you know what i mean on haley


(chorus)
 D                           B
you dont have to walk the straight and narrow
    A                              E
as long as you drive up in a camaro-o


(bridge)
      A               D               A                    E
goin down down down down down d-down down down d-down on haley
      A               D               A                    E
goin down down down down down d-down down down d-down on haley
_____________________________(N)______________________________
      A               D               A                    E
goin down down down down down d-down down down d-down on haley
_____________________________(N)______________________________
      A               D               A                    E
goin down down down down down d-down down down d-down on haley
_____________________________(N)______________________________
      A               D               A                    E
goin down down down down down d-down down down d-down on haley
_____________________________(N)______________________________
      A               D               A                    E
     (heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ya-e-ya            ohh ohh haley)
goin down down down down down d-down down down d-down on haley
_____________________________(N)______________________________
      A               D               A                    E
     (heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ya-e-ya            ohh ohh haley)
goin down down down down down d-down down down d-down on haley

A D C# B (2X) end on A



____________________________________________________________________
2.  GOLFSHIRT


(bassline throughout song is basically)
D------------4-4-4-4
A-------2-2---------
E--0-0--------------



(intro)

(play 2 E~s then play):

G------2-3-2-3-2
D----2----------
A--1------------
E---------------


(verse 1)

E*
im not the one you dream about
E*
and im not the one who can live without (live without)
E*
im not the one who you wanna see
E*					    C# B A
im not the one who you want to be seen with


(chorus)
 G#              Cm      A        G#
and when youre tired of all the jerks
            Cm      A       G#
and youre tired of all the work
            Cm       A    E^
and youre tired of being hurt
           G#          A          B      E~
you will long for the comfort of my golfshirt


(verse 2)
E*
im not the one who was an old time punk rocker
E*
i was listenin to rush and tryin to feather my hair back
when all that stuff went down
E*
im not the one who was in a high school hardcore band
E*				      C# B A
i sat in my room   scorin with ms pacman


(chorus)
 G#              Cm      A        G#
and when youre tired of all the jerks
            Cm      A       G#
and youre tired of all the work
            Cm       A    E^
and youre tired of being hurt
           G#          A         B
you will long for the comfort of my golfshirt


(bass plays):
D--2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-------------------------------------------------
A------------------2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-0-0-4-0-----4-0-
E----------------------------------------------------------4-4-----


(solo (2X):
E-----------------------------
B-----------------------------
G--9---------------6----------
D--9---------1h2p1-6-1h2p1----
A--7-6h7p6-2-------4-------0--
E----------------------------4

(ending)
(bass plays a version of the solo for first 2 lines)

no tats  no piercings  no hats  no grungebeard baby yeah
no tats  no piercings  and no hats  no grungebeard baby
 E^~            B~                 C#~       A        G#
yeaaaahh  oh yeaaaahhh  oh-oh-oh yeaaaahhh  ya-e-ya-e-ya-e-ya-e
 E^~            B~                 C#~       A        G#
yeaaaahh  oh yeaaaahhh  oh-oh-oh yeaaaahhh  ya-e-ya-e-ya-e-ya-e
 E^                    B           C#                A     G#            
yeah no tats (no tats) no piercings no hats (no hats) no grungebeard baby
 E^                    B           C#                A     G#
yeah no tats (no tats) no piercings no hats (no hats) no grungebeard baby
 E^         B         C#                 A        G#
yeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh  yeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh  ya-e-ya-e-ya-e-ya-e
 E^             B                  C#       A         G#         E
yeaaaahh  oh yeaaaahhh  oh-oh-oh yeaaaahhh  ya-e-ya-e-ya-e-ya-e-yeah


(for ending just slide up and down fretboard and land on E!)


________________________________________________________________________
3.  SORRY


(verse 1)
E~
          A         G#      F#     E F# E F#
sorry we broke up sorry i missed you
          D      C#     B      A B A B
sorry i wanted only to kiss you
         A            G#        F#  E F# E F#
sorry i promised to love you forever
                D    C#           B     A B A B
made you feel guilty oh when you left me
        (M)
         A        G#       F#
sorry i showed up at your party
         D        C#       B
sorry i drank up all the bicardi
         A       C#       F#
sorry i puked up on your bedspread
                           (N)
         D        C#        B
sorry i wanted to be your boyfriend again


(chorus)
 D         A         E
what can i do   its over its over its over its over
 D         A             E
what can i do   i am a loser


(verse 2)

A G# F# E F# E F#
D C# B A B A B

(M)
         A         G#         F#
sorry i saw you and i heard birds sing
          D             C#        B
sorry i touched you and i heard bells ring
          A         G#               F#
sorry i jacked off outside of your window
                  D     C#              B
while you were sleeping i thought youd never know
          A       G#       F#
sorry i showed up at your wedding
          D       C#      B
sorry i tried so hard to get in
        A        G#       F#
sorry i  screwed up your pictures
        D     C#             B      (N)
sorry i  had sex with your sister


(chorus)
 D         A         E
what can i do   its over its over its over its over
 D         A            E
what can i do   i am a loser

(bass solo then):
E-----
B-----
G--2--

(verse 3)
A------------------------------------
E---------5---------4-------2--------
sorry we broke up sorry i missed you
A---------5-----4-------2------------
E------------------------------------
sorry i wanted only to kiss you
A------------------------------------
E---------5---------4------------2---
sorry i promised to love you forever
A---------------5-----4-----------2--
E------------------------------------
made you feel guilty oh when you left me

sorry i showed up  at your dinner

sorry i said those things to your father
                                        A
sorry i crashed through your window on acid
         D           C#      B
sorry i made a mess sorry i bled to death


(chorus)
 D         A         E
what can i do   its over its over its over its over
 D         A            E
what can i do   i am a loser  i am a loser oh oh
 D         A         E
what can i do   its over its over its over its over
 D         A            E
what can i do   i am a loser

(end with):
E------------------------
B------0-----1-0---------
G--2-4-----2-----4--1-2--


4.  EASY MARK


(bass plays this twice):
A--------
E---3-2-1

(after first time)
waaaaaaaahhhh

     (2X)
G F# E  A--2-3-2-0
        E---------

(verse 1)
(M)
      G F# E               G F# E
ya she      shes bustin out
         G               F#    E
put the suitcase in the pinnow
                             (N)
             G          F#    E~ E E E
and get the hell out of ohio


(chorus)
 C                          D   B
she gets on that great highway
                  C B  A
doesnt want to be anywhere
 D            G        F#    E
shes an easy mark oh oh oh oh oh oh
 D            G     F#   E   D
shes an easy maaaaaaaaaaark oh oh


(verse 2)
(M)
     G F# E                  G F# E
ya he     hes got a master plan
         G             F#    E
ya hes gonna make a fortune
				      (N)
         G             F#              E~
panning gold out of a bottle of gold slegger

shot by shot by shot


(chorus)
  C                           D   B
he gets on that great highway
                  C B  A
doesnt want to be anywhere
 D            G       F#    E
hes an easy mark oh oh oh oh oh oh
 D            G     F#   E     D
hes an easy maaaaaaaaaaark


(bridge)
 C
she lays down in the grass
 A
on strawberry hill
       G
he is there
                                   D
smelling like nicotine and peanut butter

you gotta love her


(solo)
E---3-5-7-8---7-7-8-7-5--7-7-8-7--7-7-8-7----10-------
B-----------------------------------------10----7-8---

				       ya she
E---7-7-8-7-5--7-7-8-7--7-7-8-7--5-7-5-2-3~
B-----------------------------------------


she doesnt wanna change this time

theres a hunger in her soul
    G* G* G*      F#* F#* F#*
for tater tot casserole
          E* E* E*
with the crispy on the outside oh oh oh


(chorus)
 C                          D   B
she gets on that great highway
                  C B  A
doesnt want to be anywhere
 D            G        F#    E
shes an easy mark oh oh oh oh oh oh
 D            G     F#   E     D
shes an easy maaaaaaaaaaark oh oh


(ending)
 G            F#                 E                      D
i hate this world  this stupid world  this screwed up world
 G           F#                  E     D     G
i hate this world  this fucking world



_________________________________________________________
5.   VAN HALEN


(bassline throughout song):
A------------3-5--5-5-5-1-2--2-2-2-2--3--3-3-3-2--
E---3--3-3-3--------------------------------------

A------------3-5--5-5-5-1-2--2-2-2-2--3-2-3-5-3-2-
E---3--3-3-3--------------------------------------


(intro)
A---------------------------
E---3~---3-5-3---3-3/5-5-5\3


(verse 1)

i bought van halen one it was the best damn record

i ever owned  T G and Y  1978
G
two-hand tapping  guitar technique

really got me off  erection yeah
                  D~           C~   CCCCCCCCC
aint talkin bout love   im on fire


(chorus)
   G          D   B   C          G     D  B   C
tomorrow may come  tomorrow may never come  again
          G          D    B      C               G
cant you hear jamie cryin  shes runnin with the devil
    D     B        C
oh loooooord  oh looord


A---------------------------
E---3~---3-5-3---3-3/5-5-5\3


(verse 2)

i bought women and children first  fair warning

and van halen two   dance the night away
 G
1984 my favorite record  yeah  i wore it down

might as well jump   might as well jump


(chorus)
   G          D   B   C          G     D  B   C
tomorrow may come  tomorrow may never come  again
      E---15--------14---11----12
      B--------------------------
          G          D    B      C               G
cant you hear jamie cryin  shes runnin with the devil
    D     B        C
oh loooooord  oh looord


(verse 3)
is this what you wanted?  sammy hagar

sammy hagar  is this what you wanted man

dave lost his hairline  but you lost your cool  buddy
              D*
cant drive '55  ill never buy your lousy records
A--------5------2------------3------------------------5--
E--3--------------------------------------3--------------
again  again  again  never again  never again  never again
A-------2------------3-------------------------5------------2--
E---------------------------------3--------------------
never again  never again  never again  never again  never again
A-------3-------------------------5-----------2--
E--------------------3---------------------------           C
never again  never again  never again  never again  never again

no  no  no


(chorus)
   G          D   B   C          G     D  B   C
tomorrow may come  tomorrow may never come  again
      E---15--------14---11----12
      B--------------------------
          G          D    B      C               G
cant you hear jamie cryin  shes runnin with the devil
    D     B        C
oh loooooord  oh looord


solo (play this twice)
E---3---3---3---3---3---3---3---3---2---2---2---2----
B-----3---3---3---3---3---3---3---3---3---3---3---3--

E---2---2---2---2---2---2---2---2---2---2---2---2----
B-----3---3---3---3---4---4---4---4---4---4---4---4--

E---3---3---3---3---3---3---3---3----
B-----5---5---5---5---5---5---5---5--


(ending)
 G            D          B           C
jump  jump  jump  jump  jump  jump  jump  might as well
 G            D          B           B
jump  jump  jump  jump  jump  jump  jump  might as well
                         G
                       ju-ump


_______________________________________________________________
6.  DIANA


(intro)

 E        G#   A        E     A      E       A           B
oh-oh-oh-ohhh  oh-oh-oh-ohhh  oh-oh-oh-ohhh  oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhh


(verse 1)

i saw her at the club  she was standin  with a frech girl

bonsoir julie  pup?  yes she had a beautiful smile

and they met at face to face went back to his place

she sat on his face  and now its history
                                     A                      B
the rest is history  she sat on his face and the rest is history


(chorus)
  C#     E^         B        A
thats why  he cried  he lost  he lost everything
 C#      E^        B                A
thats why  he cried  he lost it all he lost it all to
 C#    E^           B               A
diana  diana  part german  part hispanic
 C#           E^    B                A
diana  phillipino  diana  where did you go


(verse 2)

i saw her downtown  she was standin  with the cool girls

she was hangin out with steve  and that was where she wanted to be

she was workin at the place  where they sell veal parmijan
          A*                             A           B
now shes gone  now shes gone  yeah shes gone  oh so gone


(chorus)
  C#     E^         B        A
thats why  he cried  he lost  he lost everything
 C#      E^        B                A
thats why  he cried  he lost it all he lost it all to
 C#    E^           B               A
diana  diana  part german  part hispanic
 C#           E^    B                A       E--5~--
diana  phillipino  diana  where did you go   B------


oh-oh-oh-ohhh  oh-oh-oh-ohhh  oh-oh-oh-ohhh  oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhh


(M)
 E        G#   A        E     A      E       A           B
oh-oh-oh-ohhh  oh-oh-oh-ohhh  oh-oh-oh-ohhh  oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhh
(N)
 E        G#   A        E     A      E       A           B
oh-oh-oh-ohhh  oh-oh-oh-ohhh  oh-oh-oh-ohhh  oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhh

     E  G# A  E    A E A B      E    G# A E A E A B E
E-----------------        diana  ahhh
B----5--4--2--0---



______________________________________________________________

7.  NOSERING GIRL


(played simultaneously through song except chorus)

(bass plays)
D-----------2---2---2---2---6--
A---3--3-----------------------
E------------------------------

(while guitar plays)
D-----------------------------
A--------3----3---3---3---3---
E-----------------------------

(after 2X)
oh

(after 4X)
D---------------------------8-8-8-8-7-7-7\5--5/7\5\3
A---5\3~--3/5--5/7--7\5\3---------------------------
E---------------------------------------------------


(verse 1)
i  i met a girl  she was standing on the dance floor

of the club  she was  a very very pretty girl

so i went up and talked to her  and when you share

your thoughts with soooomeone  you feel close to theeem


(chorus)
          C  F     C      F
nosering girl  i love you
          C  F    C                     F
nosering girl  i want you i want you i want you
          C  F     C      F
nosering girl  i love you
          C  F    C                     F
nosering girl  i want you i want you i want you


(verse 2)
yeah she had  pretty hair  and  beutiful eyes and a

dalmation jacket  (dalmation jacket)

and she was the kind of girl who you would give up

eating meat for  no more salami  no more  steak or potatoes

yeah you would walk on down to the health food store

and buy humace  and taboolie  and babaganousch

and rice cakes  rice cakes  rice cakes


(chorus)
          C  F     C      F
nosering girl  i love you
          C  F    C                     F
nosering girl  i want you i want you i want you
          C  F     C      F
nosering girl  i love you
          C  F    C                     F
nosering girl  i want you i want you i want you


(verse 3)
as it turns out  she was the cousin

of the ex-girlfriend of my good friend steve

my very good friend steve  but she didnt like me

she said i was a drunkard  an alchoholic

a weirdo  a freak!  a freak?
         Cm  Bm D
nosering


(chorus)
          C  F     C      F
nosering girl  i love you
          C  F   C                     F
nosering girl  i want you i want you i want you
          C  F     C      F
nosering girl  i love you
          C  F    C                     F
nosering girl  i want you i want you i want you
              C                     F
i want you i want you i want you i want you
              C                     F
i want you i want you i want you i want you
              C                     F
i want you i want you i want you i want you
              C                     F
i want you i want you i want you i want you
                       C
                  i want you

                     yeah

        were warmin up  were warmin up


____________________________________________________________________

8.  ANNALEE


(tuning: standard)


(intro - play this 4X)
G------------------------5-5-----5-5--
D-------5-5-----5-5-------------------
A--------------------3-3-----3-3------
E---3-3-----3-3-----------------------

G-----------------------5-5-----5-5--
D------7-7-----7-7-------------------
A-------------------3-3-----3-3------
E---5-5----5-5-----------------------


(verse 1)
 (M)
  G                           C              A    D
wearin flash pants and her streetwalker shooooes
  G                     C               A   D
walkin downtown with a pocket full of booze
 (N)
  G          C            A       D
shes the one  who wants so much
  G          C A        D
shes the one  you can  you can never touch


(chorus)
G  C  A           C
       here comes annalee
 G        C      A            C
annalee  yeaaahh  here comes annalee


(play 2X)
G------------------------5-5-----5-5--
D-------5-5-----5-5-------------------
A--------------------3-3-----3-3------
E---3-3-----3-3-----------------------

G-----------------------5-5-----5-5--
D------7-7-----7-7-------------------
A-------------------3-3-----3-3------
E---5-5----5-5-----------------------


(verse 2)
 (M)
  G                        C                A    D
standin on the corner you see her cuttin a deal
  G                      C                     A    D
windows rolled down you cant believe shes for real
 (N)
 G          C             A    D
shes the one  it aint no joke
 G           C  A     D
shes got lips  lips  just like cherry coke


(chorus)
G  C  A           C
         here comes annalee
 G        C      A            C
annalee  yeaaahh  here comes annalee
 G        C      A            C
annalee  yeaaahh  here comes annalee
 G        C        A         C
annalee  yeaaahh  annalee  yeaaahh
           G        C     A   C  B  G
         annalee  yeaaahh



_____________________________________________________________

9.  YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE WHOSE SORRY


(intro)
                     A
ive got my mind set


(verse 1)
 A                    D                  D                    A
gotta a new job at a radio station but that wont help you at all
 A               D                  D                    A
40,000 watts of maximum rock  but that wont help you at all
 B                  D              A                D
you think youve got everything but ive got news for you


(chorus)
            A                 D
youre gonna be the one whose sorry
            A                 D
youre gonna be the one whose sorry
            A      D                B      A
youre gonna beeeeeee the one whose soooooorry


(verse 2)
     A                       D
you got a new girlfriend  a bitchin new girlfriend
     D                    A
but she wont help you at all
      A                                D
Said i'd fight with the scene  shes a local rock queen
     D                      A
but that wont  help you at all
 B                    D                A                D
you think that youve got it made but youve made one mistake


(chorus)
            A                 D
youre gonna be the one whose sorry
            A                 D
youre gonna be the one whose sorry
            A      D                B      A
youre gonna beeeeeee the one whose soooooorry


(bridge)

E^~    D   C#
  yeah

(verse 3)
     A~
the theater group calls you  a local celebrity

but that wont help you at all

youre such a big big deal  you get in the club for free

but that wont help you at all
 (M)       					    (N)
 B                  D               A                D*
you think youve got everything  but ive got news for you


(chorus)
            A                 D
youre gonna be the one whose sorry
            A                 D
youre gonna be the one whose sorry yeah
            A                 D
youre gonna be the one whose sorry
            A                 D
youre gonna be the one whose sorry
            A      D                B      A
youre gonna beeeeeee the one whose soooooorry


_______________________________________________________________

10.  I ONLY EAT CANDY
(intro)
D A B F#^ G^

D   A B F#^ G^
ahhh


(verse 1)

i  i dont kill  and i dont murder or manufacture atomic weapons
                                       F#^              G^
and i  dont eat meat  and i  dont eat vegetables  no no no


(chorus)
      D            A               B             F#^   G^
cause i  only eat candy  oh oh oh  i  only eat sweets
     D            A                         B              F#^  G^
yeah i  only eat candy my friend  oh oh oh  i  i only eat candy


(play this 4X)
C C B C B A A G A B


(verse 2)

and i  i dont believe  no i dont  believe in your corny old jesus
                                                     F#^        G^
and i  dont worship satan  no  not like charlie and steve no no no


(chorus)
      D            A               B             F#^ G^
cause i  only eat candy  oh oh oh  i  only eat sweets
     D            A                     B              F#^  G^
yeah i  only eat candy my friend  yeah  i  i only eat candy  yeah



(play this 4X)
C C B C B A A G A B

im angry


(bridge)
 D              A  B           F#^  D            A  B         F#^
  ylno tae ydnac  ylno tae steews  ylno tae ydnac  ylno tae ydnac
   G^
ahhhhhhhhhh


(chorus)
      D            A               B             F#^ G^
cause i  only eat candy  oh oh oh  i  only eat sweets
     D            A                     B              F#^  G^
yeah i  only eat candy my godd friend  oh i  i only eat candy  yeah


(play this 4X)
C C B C B A A G A B
            C
the longest   line